Forgotten Dreams
by Panthrax
Summary: It all seems like the most perfect dream, Ned is finaly dating his dream girl, High School isn't so bad at all, and the guide is doing great, but then disaster strikes..Will Ned be able to see the light in a dark period? does true love realy conquer all?
1. Prologue

and this is my second story, that i post here, but i tell you, i've never felt this 'rush' before in my entire 8 years of writing experience.

i have to thank Countrygurl212 for that, her story, The Notebook, inspired me A LOT. again, thanks for that.

this is the first Ned/Mose that i wrote/write, and i'm not sure if more Ned/Mose will folow after this one...

but anyway, while i post this, i'm writing the next chapter, and i literally won't rest untill i've uploaded it!!! HA!

and i'm telling you, one chapter actualy made me cry... (The third one) ( i finished it in my head...)

anyway, leave a review or send me a PM if you hate it/love it... OTHERWISE I WON'T WRITE ANYMORE (no pressure...:p)

enjoy reading this

* * *

Prologue:

A young couple sat on the roof of a house in a decent neighborhood. The dark night sky was clear and the moon was completely absent. Jennifer sat between Neds legs with her head resting on his right shoulder while he had both arms wrapped around her waist. The meteor shower was about to start. Jennifer laid her hands upon his and sighed deeply. "If someone told me two years ago that we would sit like this today, i would most likely laugh and say, like always, that we were just friends…"

"I know, and at the end, who were we kidding?" Ned laughed.

"Its weird somehow…" Jennifer said with a frown.

"What do you mean?" Ned asked, confused.

Jennifer smiled and softly flattered her head against his shoulder.

"When i was a little girl, i always thought about how it would be to be completely in love. On a night, my dad took me on this very roof to see a meteor shower. While watching it i told myself that one day, i would be sitting on this roof with my one and true love, watching the sky celebrating our love…" Jennifer said with a dreamy smile.

Ned pulled her closer and laid his head on hers. "Some dreams are just destined to come out, others are mend to be forgotten…" He said while looking down at her.

Jennifer placed a hand on his cheek and gently pulled his head closer to her.

On the exact moments their lips touched, the first stars started to fall…

* * *

Yes, its short, but its only a Prologue, those things are short shrugs

chapter 2 is a little fluffy, but Drama soon folows... maybe not on that chapter, but it will...


	2. Waiting and Longing

You know, i think i brought "fluffy" to a new level.

warning, chapter can be fluffy! In a cute way :p

this chapter only took me about 1.5 hours and 3 cups of coffee... and i admit, its a record...

i had fun writing this, really...

i also want to thank Countrygurl for the review, and twilightmoon20 to add this story inmediately to "Story alert"

have fun reading and you know where the review button is (that funnylooking thing at the left end of the page)

i don't think i'm gonna write another chapter today, since it already is 3:50 in the morning (don't look like that, i've had MUCH longer writing sessions you know...)

but tomorrow... oh boy...

* * *

Chapter 1: Waiting and Longing

It was three weeks after the meteor shower. And Ned and his friends soon started their Junior year at St. Martens High school with only two weeks left of the summer break. Ned's thought drifted, once again off to his girlfriend, Jennifer Mosely, and the more he thought about her, the more he couldn't believe that he was this lucky to have her. Even though the period between realizing his feelings for her and actually dating her were hard, frustrating and painful, it was all worth it.

Ned looked out his window, his gaze focused on a few houses further across the room, where the girl of his dreams lived. He hasn't seen her for nine days, since she and her family went to her aunt that lived in New Jersey. But as soon as the red car of the Moselys would pull over on their driveway, Ned would be there before they even got the chance to get out of the vehicle. He missed her so much that his heart ached. And found himself once again baffled on how deep his feelings where for her, and how he never noticed until in his freshmen year at St. Martens.

A soft knock was heard on his door. "Ned honey, are you still standing in front of the window? You must really miss her," the voice of his mother said softly.

"I DO miss her mom, its like… i'm not whole without her…" Ned sighed and turned away from the window to face his mum.

"Dinner is ready, ow, and your cousin called, he wants to go into the city tomorrow…" with that Ned's mother left, closing the door behind her.

Ned refaced the window again and rested his forehead against the cool glass. Its weird how one hour seems to pass you by like its only a minute when your with someone you love, but when your waiting to see your love, one hour could be just as long as a day… Ned sighed and gave Jennifer's house one last glance before he walked away from the window and towards the dinner room.

He sat down and just looked at his food for a few moments, before releasing a deep sigh. Ned listlessly picked at his food with his fork. Normally he's overjoyed when his mom made carbonates and French fries. But this time he couldn't care less. His parents looked at each other worriedly. That means; his mother looked with eyes full of worry into two puddles of amusement.

"Ned, are you alright?" his mum asked when Ned sighed for the sixth time.

"Of course he isn't…" Ned's dad piped up.

"Richard," Ned's mom said in a semi-shocked voice.

"Just think about it Sophy, Ned has know Jennifer his entire life, they grew up together, where just as close as a twin, and last year they both realized that they love each other, they are inseparable, they've never spent one single day without seeing each other… and now she's gone for nine days straight…" He explained.

"I'm fine mum, its just… what dad said," Ned sighed.

"Girls can have a funny effect on you…," Ned's dad said in a serious voice.

"Girls are stupid," Ned's ten year old brother Kevin piped up.

Ned looked at him with raised eyebrows.

"Well its true, their to complicated, it'll take you a lifetime to figure them out. And their so… weird… giggling for almost everything and always the chatter!," he threw his hands up in the air out of frustration and continued: "Its or cute, or gross with them, a puppy is 'oh so adorable'" mimics a girls voice and placed his hands on his cheeks. "and a snake is 'so gross!' when they see a mouse they stand all funny on a chair, like that's gonna help, and what's with traveling in packs huh? You never see a girl alone, they even need at least three other girls to go to the bathroom, and all they care about is stupid girly stuff, hallow?"

Ned's parents looked at their second and youngest son with utter bemusement, Even Ned smiled.

"Moze is different, she never giggles, isn't quite the blabbermouth, thinks snakes are awesome, finds a mouse cute, she completely comfortable around boys, enjoys boy things, like woodshop, videogames, and horror movies, she cares about everything and everyone… oh i love her," Ned sighed deeply and placed his chin on his hand and gazed to the opposite wall.

"Jennifer isn't a girly girl, but she still does funny things with you, by the looks of it…," Kevin stated.

"Oh look who's talking… every time she comes over your more exited then a parakeet on caffeine, when we're playing a videogame in the basement, you come in at least twenty times in one hour, you keep asking her to explain something, and once you told her that you just lost your pet rat," Ned said while giving his little brother an accusing look.

"Yeah, so?" Kevin asked with a raised eyebrow.

"You never had a pet rat!" Ned said, rolling his eyes. "you only said that so she would hug you,"

"I'm a guy that likes attention, doesn't mean anything," Kevin shrugged.

"Oh really," Ned asked, grinning now. "Then what's up with her picture that lies under your pillow?"

Kevin turned into a nice shade of crimson.

"Yes, i know, and i want that one back by the way, its my favorite…" Ned continued with a frown.

"But…," Kevin protested weakly.

"I'll give you another one," Ned rolled his eyes dramaticly.

Ned's parents seemed to be baffled by the outcome of their sons argument. "Its seems like Jennifer casted a spell on both of our boys…" He said with a chuckle.

"But she is a delightful girl, i can't imagine a better daughter in law…" Ned's mom said with a smile.

"mom…" Ned said, clearly embarrassed. "We're only going out for four months, and your already making plans for a wedding," Ned shook his head and started on his carbonates.

As soon Kevin was finished with his plate, he bolted out of the room. Ned, alarmed, shoved the last few French fries in his mouth and ran after him.

Ned found him in his own room, clutching the picture against his chest.

"c'mon Kev, its my favorite picture of her…," Ned plied.

Kevin looked at his older brother with sad eyes. "Mine too," he said softly.

Ned sighed. "I'll look up the negatives of that picture and i'll order a copy of it,"

Kevin threw his arms around his brother. "Thanks Ned,"

"Yeah, as long as you know that she's mine…" Ned said with a goofy grin.

The bell rang. immediately, Ned run down the stairs and quickly opened the door. There, on the threshold, stood the girl that drove him crazy and chased him in sweet dreams. Jennifer Mosely looked at Ned with her astonishing smile, and gorgeous bog brown eyes.

"You really are full of surprises Ned, i expected you to…" Ned had wrapped his arms around her waist and kissed her with all the love he could muster. Jennifer's arms sneaked around his neck as she kissed him back.

"… come running down the street and pull me out of the car before it stopped," Jennifer continued when Ned pulled his head back a little.

"Expecting to, or hoping to?" he asked with a raised eyebrow.

Jennifer grinned guiltily.

"Actualy i was planning on doing that, but my dearest little brother prevented me from that…," Ned confessed.

"I see," Jennifer laughed. Ned just gazed dreamingly at her.

"You have no idea how much i missed you…" Ned sighed while hugging her close and resting his head on hers.

* * *

Much longer then the Prologue isn't it:p

not much of a cliffhanger-ending, but i couldn't think of a better way to end the chapter...

Leave a review (if you want) :p


	3. Whispers and Promises

i have 2 anouncements to make:

first of all, i have to work again on monday...

and second, i'm single again!

it was a misunderstanding actualy, but well...

he wasn't a good kisser, far from it, by the end of a kiss, my face was soaked with his drool...

and he never understood my passion for writing...

but well, Me breaking up with him didn't hold me back to write

NO SIR! in fact, i'm throwing TWO CHAPTERS!!!! HA!

have fun reading ;-)

and don't forget to review...

* * *

Chapter 2: Whispers and Promises

Ned took a step back to let her in his house. Kevin, who just got down the stairs looked at Jennifer with huge eyes before he ran to her and hugged her tight. Jennifer stood there for a moment, completely bewildered before she hugged him back. "Guys, i've only left for nine days," she laughed.

"Way to long," both brothers said in unison. Jennifer looked from Kevin to Ned, her eyes glistering with joy. Ned gave his brother a meaningful look.

"I'm going back to my room, good to see you again Jenny," he said before he walked away.

Ned took Jennifer's hand and led her to the living room. Ned's mum stood up and swept Jennifer in a hug. "Its good to see you again sweetie, Ned drove me crazy with his never ending depression," she said with a smile.

"Oh, really," Jennifer laughed while looking at Ned, who was blushing.

Ned's mums eyes fell on the photo album Jennifer was holding. "Are those the pictures of your holiday?"

Jennifer nodded and smiled. "My parents are complete picture-taking freaks,"

They sat down on the couch, and Jennifer opened the album. The first pictures where clearly taken at the airport.

The picture that drew Ned's attention more then anything was a picture of Jennifer sitting on the table with her chin in her hand, staring dreamingly, with a soft smile.

"Hey, i could do something with that…," Ned's dad said who was watching along over Jennifer's shoulder. He was into graphics if he had spare time, and always loved to make banners of his favorite couple. Ned's room was full of them.

He walked to a commode and opened a drawer, after rumbling through it for a while, he took out a picture.

"Aren't those identical?" He laughed when he held the picture he was holding next to the picture in Jennifer's photo album.

The picture showed Ned sitting on a table with the exact same expression.

Ned and Jennifer blushed a little while Jennifer took her picture out of the album, and gave him to Ned's dad.

"I'll be at Phil's, be back in a hour," He kissed his wife and took off.

Ned's uncle, Phil, was in the advertising business, and had his own company that made film posters and such.

The next picture that drew Ned's attention was the one of Jennifer sleeping while hugging a teddy bear. He gazed at it while Jennifer was explaining something to his mother.

Ned's cell phone rang, it was cookie. "Hi, Cookie," Ned said when he picked up.

"Yes, she's here… i know… tell me about it!... okay bye Cookie," Ned closed his cell and stared back at the picture.

"You really remind me of a puppy sometimes, d'you now that?" Jennifer said with a grin. Ned's mum chuckled.

A little while later the couple sat in the huge garden of the Bigby's, it was still very warm outside, due to a heat wave that tormented for a whole week.

They laid down on the soft grass, staring at the clouds, just like they did ever since they were kids.

"I think that's a fish," Ned said, pointing at a cloud.

"No, that's a bear…" Jennifer corrected him.

"A bear doesn't have fins you know," Ned stated with a grin, he loved the small arguments they had once in a while.

"A fish doesn't have ears either," Jennifer retorted, also grinning

"Fine, it's a bearfish!" Ned said with a fake sigh.

Jennifer scooped closer to Ned and rested her head on his chest.

The sun slowly started to set, turning the clear blue sky soft purple at the horizon.

Ned wrapped is arms around her waist. Jennifer laid one hand on his chest, and the other one on his arm, gently stroking it.

They both sighed deeply at the same time, a soft smile played on their lips.

Jennifer frowned. "Its Friday…" she stated.

"Yes, it is…," Ned said, surprised.

"Movie or video game?" Jennifer grinned.

Ned shrugged, then grinned. "I've been working on my racing skill…"

Jennifer installed herself on the couch-bed in the basement that served as a second living room, it had a couch-bed, flanked by two similar armchairs, a coffee table a big screen TV and a Xbox, She and Ned spend many hours in this basement, it was a sort of underground tree house, it was when they were young, and it remained that way.

Ned started the game, and handled Jennifer a controller before he plopped on the couch-bed next to her.

"Ready to lose?" Jennifer asked with a grin.

"Always the competitive one…" Ned muttered softly.

They soon found themselves absorbed into the race.

Ned passed her, and made sure he hit her front bumper in the progress.

"You're really focused on my bumpers aren't you?" Jennifer asked a little annoyed.

"Its kinda hard to miss them ..." Ned chuckled.

It took a second before Jennifer registered what he said, and what he mend by it.

She punched him on his arm, which made Ned loose control over his car, and hit the rails.

"Hey! That's not fair," he said with a grin.

"Pervert," Jennifer muttered under her breath when she drove past Ned's crashed car.

"I was talking about the bumpers of your race car!" Ned defended himself.

"Right…"

Ned grinned, he knew he shouldn't push the issue any further but he just couldn't help it. "You have to admit that I'm right…"

Jennifer took one of the pillows and whacked it against his head with such force that Ned fell on his side. He quickly sat up and grabbed a pillow also. "You don't want to make me using this cushion against you…" he warned with a amused twinkle in his eyes.

As an answer, Jennifer whacked him again.

"Okay," Ned said calmly before he hit her with his pillow.

With a howl, Jennifer launched herself at him, knocking him over completely, while sitting on his waist she continued to hit him with her pillow.

"I surrender!" Ned shouted at the twelfth time the pillow made contact with his head.

"Good," Jennifer smirked. She pulled the pillow close to her, as if hugging it like a teddy bear.

"Never leave me again," Ned said out of the blue.

Jennifer smiled down at him, her eyes filled with tenderness.

"Ow, my cousin called me today, he wants to go to the city tomorrow…" Ned said with a frown.

"Good, then at least I know that you won't be standing in front of the window all day, waiting for me to come back," Jennifer said with a grin.

"You're leaving me again?" Ned asked shocked.

"Only for tomorrow, I promised Breanne to come to visit her…" Jennifer explained.

"I'm her favorite cousin, so who am i to cancel it?" she went on with a apolitical smile.

"Yeah, but…" Ned protested.

"Ned i'll only be gone for a few hours, i leave tomorrow morning at nine, and return about six…" Jennifer chuckled.

"But i'll be so lost without you," Ned pouted.

Jennifer bended over and kissed him softly on the lips.

"I will never really leave you, Ned Bigby…" She whispered in his ear.

"Neither would i…" Ned said softly.

Jennifer locked her eyes with his before she kissed him deeply.

* * *

i had fun writing this... i really had, but somehow, reading that very chapter again makes me feel sad for a reason...


	4. Memories and Disaster

i must admit, the story is progressing faster then any others of mine...

i had fun writing this chapter... wel almost anyway...

don't forget to review!!!

* * *

Chapter 3:

Ned woke with a start. He bolted up in bed, trying to figure out what startled him. A soft knock was heard on his door. Ned got out of bed and opened the door. His cousin, Brian, grinned at him. He was taller then Ned, and more muscular. His fierce green eyes were full of bemusement when he saw Ned, only wearing his Simpsons boxers.

"What were you still doing in bed Ned? Its almost ten o' clock," Brian complained.

Ned eyes widened. "Ten… i'm to late…" he hung his head sadly.

"To late?" Brian repeated, confused.

"To see Mose of," Ned replied with a moan.

"You two are still friends?" Brian asked interested.

"More then that," Ned said proudly as he swung the door further open.

Brian gazed at the many pictures on the wall, including Ned and Jennifer holding each other or seemed to be lost in each others eyes.

Brian whistled. "Its been years since i saw her, but by the looks of it," he whistled again.

"Anyway," Ned said with clutched teeth, he knew his cousin well enough to know that he would flirt with any girl as soon he got the chance.

"Yeah, you need to get dressed… and then we're off to the city!" Brian exclaimed excitedly.

"Right… give me a minute to get dressed," Ned smiled.

"I'll be in the living room," with that Brian left.

Ned looked at the picture of where he stood behind Jennifer with his arms around her waist, he seemed to be whispering something in her ear while Jennifer laughed. It was one of his favorite pictures of them together. He sighed deeply and walked towards his wardrobe, pulling out a jeans and a shirt.

A few moments later, Ned joined Brian in the living room.

"Ready?" Brian asked Ned with a goofy grin.

The city seemed to be bursting of the crowd, Brian had to circle it twice before he finally found a decent parking space.

A bleeping sound of his cell phone announced an incoming message. Ned eagerly opened it:

Hi sleepyhead, i just arrived in Lancaster, first time i go there with the train, but the view was magnificent, but it had a long tunnel also, don't miss me to much!

Ned smiled widely.

Brian looked at Ned with a raised eyebrow. "Man, she clearly rocked your world…"

Ned's grin grew bigger, as he got out of the car.

They soon found themselves in the game hall, playing a game of air hockey.

"So, you and Jen huh?" Brian said casual during the game. "God, i can still see you two sitting in the backyard, fighting over a slug… you wanted to save it from her murder attempts , and while blocking one of her attacks on the slug, she hit you straight in the face!"

Ned laughed. "She panicked so hard, that she cried, she took hold of my head and held it carefully, while examining it on any injuries. She kept saying "I'm sorry Neddy,"

"Yeah, and then you panicked also since she wouldn't stop crying, you hugged her so quickly that your heads bumped," Brian continued.

"We were three…," Ned sighed.

Brian laughed and shook his head, Scoring the final puck.

"The cutest memory was on your fifth birthday…," Brian said when he and Ned were sitting in the sun, enjoying a cool drink.

"Right before the movie would start, she came to you and kissed you full on the lips, you pulled a face like you saw heaven at that moment," Brian laughed.

"But, when she pulled back you looked out grossed, and a 'iew,' soon followed. She looked at you and said seriously: 'Mum made me do it,' before she ran off," Brian said, laughing harder.

"Ow, and your very first fight with her, you were six…," Brian stated with a chuckle.

"Yes, i remember that, i told her that her that girls were stupid… she looked at me with tears in her eyes and screamed: 'i hate you forever Ned,' before she run out. It took me a while before i knew what was wrong, i never thought of her as a girl!" Ned exclaimed.

"I hope you realize it now…" Brian said with a playfully raised eyebrow.

"I went to my mom and told her what happened. She laughed and said that Mose WAS a girl," Ned continued, ignoring Brian's comment.

"You should've seen your eyes," Brian laughed.

Ned grinned. "After i realized it, i went to Mose, who was playing in her backyard. I picked a flower and walked to her. She looked at me very angrily, but that didn't stopped me… i gave her the flower and told her that i was sorry. She took the flower and walked off, a few moments later she turned around and ran to me, she knocked me over while hugging me,"

Brian smiled. "You two have been through so much together since you were little didn't you?"

Ned nodded. "I was ten when my grandpa died, and i didn't went to school the day of the funeral. As soon the school was over Mose came to the graveyard hugging me and telling me that my grandpa was with the other angels now," Ned smiled at the memory. "She is always there for me when i need her, it always was and it will always be,"

"Come on loverboy, lets go to the movies," Brian said, waving a waitress over to pay for the drinks.

They saw a terrific horror movie, and Ned noted to himself to come back with Jennifer tomorrow.

"Actually i'm not surprised that you and Jen got together… i knew it when you were young that you two would end up together," Brian said when they walked back to his car.

"So, when would she be back? I'm dying to see her again," Brian asked while maneuvering his car on the road.

"By seven thirty… so she'll get the Antilope Valley Line by six twenty, line 270," Ned replied. "That's about two hours until she boards.

Brian looked at Ned in awe. "You checked what train she has to take?"

Ned grinned guiltily.

"Unfortunately, i have to be home at six, so i'll miss her, but don't you dare to forget to tell her hi from me," Brian laughed.

"Sure," Ned smiled.

As soon Brian dropped Ned off, he left since he had to ride all the way back to San Fernando. Ned walked into the living room. His mum was sitting on the couch plopping trough a magazine, his father was nowhere to be found.

"Hi, Ned, your dad just left to Phil's, and i'm off soon too…" His mom told him with a smile.

"Bridging?" Ned asked with a grin.

"Of course, food is in the refrigerator, or you can order a pizza or something," His mom said.

"I'll be fine mom, don't worry," Ned laughed. "Where's Kevin?"

"He went to Marco, he's throwing a slumber party," his mom explained.

Ned nodded and walked into the kitchen, grabbing a cool drink.

Soon afterwards, his mom left for her Saturday bridge meeting.

Ned sat down on the couch and turned the TV on. After he zapped for a while, he left it on a documentary about the ancient Egyptians .

One and a half hour later, his cell phone rang. The caller ID made his heart swell of love, and his stomach flutter with butterflies.

"Are you home yet?" Ned asked excitedly.

"No, not yet, but i will before you know it," came the laughing reply of Jennifer on the other side of the line.

"So, how did your day went?" Ned asked, sitting up straight.

"Active… i love Breanne, but sometimes i think someone fed her extra strong coffee…" Ned could see her smile in his head.

"Poor you," Ned grinned.

"I lived… so, how did your day went?"

"Fine actually, Brian and i had a little look into the past, we recalled some memories…" Ned explained.

"Oh really," Jennifer sounded amused.

"Yeah, like our first two fights, the first time you kissed me on my fifth birthday, and when i realized that you were a girl," Ned grinned.

Jennifer laughed and Ned's heart swelled up with joy, he loved her laugh.

"As far as i know Ned Bigby, I'm STILL a girl," Jennifer commented.

Ned grinned.

"i'm heading towards a tunnel now," Jennifer said softly.

"Ok, i see you soon," Ned said tenderly.

"What? Ned i'm losing you…" with that the connection was lost, but Ned smiled nonetheless, he loved that girl with his whole heart, she brought out the best in him, motivated him, and was the only one that could always cheer her up.

A little while later, Ned was watching CSI.

The show was almost to its end when all of the sudden the face of Kenneth, the news reporter of that channel appeared, looking more seriously as ever, what mend a lot.

"We're cutting this show short due to a important newsflash.

The Antilope Valley Line that connects Lancaster with Union Station is crashed, it happened when the train was heading towards Santa Clarita, a rock fell of the Soledad Canyon and landed on the rails, The line 270 of the Antilope Valley Line couldn't brake in time, and derailed. The view changed from Kenneth to the Soledad Canyon, showing the derailed train. Ned looked horrified to the TV screen, his heart froze.

"Several emergency services have reached the 270, and are now trying to get into the wagons. Roy, how is the situation there?"

An other voice spoke, while a camera in the helicopter was filming the rampage below. "The situation is critical Kenneth, due the low population of this area, the emergency services have trouble to reach the derailed train, there seems to be no sign of survivors yet, we keep you updated if there's any news"

Kenneth came back into view. Talking more about the catastrophe, But Ned wasn't listening, he drew his cell phone.

"Not her… Please not her… please be alright," with his hands shaking that much he needed two failed attempts before he managed to speed dial Jennifers number. "Please pick up Mose, i need you…"

The cell phone rang in the destroyed compartment, begging to be answered.

Jennifer Mosely lay motionless on the compartment floor, the ringing cell only inches away from her hand.

* * *

If you think that this would be turning out to be just one of the many 'Mose gets into an accident' fic, guess again... i do everything to have an original story, and trust me, it is!!!

BUT i've read some very good fics with that subject

i'm referrig to 2 fabulous writers that succeeded to inspire me to start this fic, and to contunue it on a different level.

first: Blue-Eyed-Blonde90 with her fic Forgetting you, it inspired me to complicate the plot a little...

and without Countyurl212 and her recently finiched story The Journal this fic wouldn't even be here...

so, my little asignment to you, READ THOSE FICS!!! I WON'T UPDATE UNTILL YOU DID!!!!

and leave a review of course, the more i get, the more eager i am to continue writing ;-)


	5. Denial and a Funeral

Sorry that it took me so long to update, i'm also working on an other story that will be published here also... and maybe a songfic...

Anyway, this was realy the hardest chapter i ever wrote...

i want to thank the loyal reviewers:

Unconvential: I'm both loved and hated for my cliff's ... you'll be seeing more of them in this story...

nedandmozeluvr: Orlando Bloom won't apear.. at least not in this fic:p, You might recognise something out of one of your reviews in this chapter though :p

Countrygurl212: i don't know you... but i can't emagine you speechless... :p

Stealth Photographer: Thanks for the reviews, but they didn't start dating at their 11th grade.but in their 10th ( i think...)

so... 'nough said...

have "fun" reading...

and review, i love reviews... a lot...

* * *

Chapter 4:

Ned just sat there for a long time, gazing to a point above the television screen. He just couldn't believe it. She called him an hour ago, so how could that have happened so soon after, she was coming home!

Hot tears welled up in his eyes, blurring his sight completely. His mind was just blank, he couldn't think, or feel for that matter. Ned felt like his life was over, that someone ripped his soul out, leaving only his shell behind.

He hadn't noticed that his cell phone was ringing until it rang for the fifth time. He looked to the caller ID with hopeful eyes. It was Cookie, with a quivering sigh he picked up.

"Hi Ned, is Mose back yet? Lisa and I wanted to catch a movie and we wondered if you guys would come too," Cookie said with such happiness in his voice that it took all Ned's willpower not to burst out in tears.

"Cookie…" Ned took in a deep breath

"Ned are you alright? You sound a bit… sad…" Cookie asked worried.

"There's been an accident…" It was all Ned could say about it, silent tears rolled over his cheek, while a lump in his throat became so big that Ned found it hard to breathe.

"The train Mose took to come home… it… it crashed," The last word came out as a sob as realization hit him with full force.

"What?" It was all Cookie could say.

"I tried to call her, I tried, she can't be… please don't tell me… what do i do…" Ned broke down, sobbing so violently that his whole body shook.

"I'm coming over!" With that Cookie hung up.

"Why her?! Why? What have I ever done to You huh? What? I love her! This is not fair!" with the last thing said, Ned threw the remote control against the wall with all his might. It broke in several peaces and knocked a framed picture of him and Jennifer of the wall. Ned picked up the frame, wiped the broken glass of it. (ignoring the deep cuts in his fingers) and fell down on his knees, clutching the frame like his life depended on it.

By the time Cookie came into Ned's living room, Ned was nothing more then a pile of misery.

Without a word, Cookie knelt down beside Ned and pulled him in a hug.

"Its not fair," Ned kept repeating that sentence while punching Cookie on his right shoulder.

"I know," Cookie said, his own tears flowing down his cheeks.

The whole neighborhood was shocked by the accident, even the weather seemed to be grieving. It was raining non-stop for the last two days.

Ned carried a radio to everywhere he went, in the hope of any news that they found survivors.

But after two days, only six survivors where found, Ned recognized one of them as a fellow student of his school.

The emergency services started to clean up the wrecks of the train. All bodies and survivors where found. Some bodies where so messed up, that they couldn't identify it until further research.

For all the victims from Santa Clarita, there would be held one funeral service. There would be a monument with all their names on.

Ned lived in a daze. He couldn't eat, couldn't sleep… he just couldn't function.

His parents became worried about his health. One member of Social Services came over to talk to Ned. But all he did was nod or shake his head. How could she understand what he was going through? He lost more then just a girlfriend, he lost his best friend, his soul mate, his heart… How could anyone understand that?

He just couldn't and wouldn't believe that Jennifer was gone.

Kevin cried for hours and hours straight, and was always found with his picture of Jennifer in his hand.

Several kids from school stopped by every now and then to comfort Ned, to make sure that he was okay. But he wasn't, far from it.

Suzie took it bad also, she clasped onto Ned and cried hysterically. Ned just hugged her back, silently crying also.

The funeral was touching, to say it at the least. Hundreds of flowers of a dozen kinds decorated the field next to the church. Since so many wanted to give their last honors to the victims of the crash the church would be way to small to fit them all in. A small two hundred people showed up to witness the service.

The priest cleared his throat.

"We are all together today because so many of us lost a relative or a close friend during the tragic train accident that occurred a few days ago. The loss of all those wonderful people is to much for words. They all went before their time… Ripped out of our lives in a way that's almost cruel. I happen to know a few of them in person, others I have baptized when they were little. But they haven't left us completely, in our hearts and minds they would be with us, guiding us…

Patrick Red, a man loyal to his friends and family, father of two proud sons: Michael and Serge Red

Lois Sarah Trost, mother of three sons and one daughter, her generous work for the church will never be forgotten," He kept going like that, saying something about each and every person that didn't survived. But Ned didn't paid attention, his mind took a run with him. They never found her body, sure, some of the bodies where unidentified, but still…

"Jennifer Ann Mosley, daughter of Vivian and Harvey Mosley, sister of Christine Mosley, her smile was known to bright up every room, her personality was one to make angels jealous. She went long before her time. She volunteered in the animal shelter and the nursing home during her spare time. The loss of such a delightful girl is almost to much to bare…"

"She isn't dead!" Ned heard himself shout without realizing that he had opened his mouth. Dozens and dozens of heads turned to him. Ned saw his father shoot him a scowl, but he didn't care. For days he thought of this, hoped for it and eventually he believed it.

"Don't you see? They never found her body or anything that could point out whether she's dead or not!" Ned saw Mrs. Mosley burst into tears, that made him come to his senses. Without another word, he stood up and left.

He leant against his parents car, trying to figure out what he said. Was it possible?

"Ned,"

Ned turned and saw Missy standing a few feat away from him, her hands in her pockets her eyes puffy and red, and her expression sad.

"I know you loved her, that one of the many thing I envied about her… But you

Have to realize… she won't come back…" Missy stared at the ground.

"She isn't dead Missy, I know it… I feel it," Ned said determinedly.

Missy walked up to him and swept him in a hug. Ned patted her on her back as Missy cried onto his shoulder.

"You have to stop kidding yourself Ned, she won't come back. And until you realized that and accepted that, you would just end up tearing yourself apart," Missy looked up at him.

Ned nodded. He knew she was right, but just couldn't just accept the fact that Jennifer was gone, he just couldn't.

* * *

You all gonna hate me forever arent ya?

falls on her knees please forgive me...

anyway

END OF THE STORY!!!

no i'm just kidding i have... lets see... counts a bunch of chapters to write before the story is done...

ow... one thing...

make sure you have tissues ready when i update the next chapter, it made me cry like a baby...

Good luck with the examinations if you gonna have them

xxxx-xx-xxxx


	6. Nightmares and a Cry for Help

* * *

GOD I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE!!!

i really had some full-of-hate review that made me shiver...

i really felt that i let you all down...

well, here you have it!!!!

because of the miserable feeling it left me while reading the review MADE me to finish the 5th chapter!

normaly i wasn't going to update untill next saturday...

-sighs-

this chapter kinda made me cry, the beginning of it at least (i blame it on the coffee)

don't forget to review, you saw what they can do ;-) ;-) ;-)

* * *

Chapter 5:

"I thought you loved me Ned Bigby. You promised me that you would never leave me… You said that you would do anything to help me whenever I need you… All lies…" Jennifer said with an echoing voice.

She was wearing a white blouse, drenched with blood, ripped jeans with several bloodstains and sneakers that once where white, but was now crimson red. Blood clitted her hair together, a large gash was visible on her left cheek, her lips had cuts all over them and blood and dirt covered most of her face.

Ned looked at her with utter shock."That's not true Jennifer, there's not one minute that I lost my hope, every time someone rings at the front door, I hope, even expect, that it is you… I…I love you,"

"That's exactly my point Ned; you hope, expect and wait, but you do nothing…" Jennifer said in a very disappointed tone.

"What could I do?" Ned asked. His voice unsteady, his eyes filled with tears.

"How about: come to look for me? A lot of people who knew the victims did…" Jennifer snapped. "You didn't even bothered to visit the place where I'm about to die," she continued with so much sorrow that it broke Neds heart.

"Instead, you rather hug Missy and tons of other girls…" Jennifer went on with the same sadness in her voice.

"Mose, a lot of me died with you, I'm just a shell… nothing more then a shadow of who I used to be…" Ned spoke with big, hot tears running down his cheek.

"You still don't get it, do you Bigby? I'm not dead! I'm waiting for you to find me, to hold me… Why did you lost faith in me?" that last part was nothing more then a whisper, with so much emotion in it that Ned's throat seemed to be blocked with a huge lump.

"I haven't lost it Jennifer, not one second," Ned said strongly.

"Yes you did, you hope with all your being that I'm still alive, but you don't believe in it…" Jennifer said with a sad smile.

"Why didn't you tried to find me Ned?" she asked, tears of crimson red blood poured from her eyes.

"I was scared!" Ned yelled out before he fell on his knees and sobbed uncontrollably.

A moment later, Ned felt something warm and softer then velvet cup his left cheek. Ned looked up. Jennifer had changed, she now wore a long gown, whiter as freshly fallen snow with sleeves so wide that they just barely hung above the floor. A golden aura surrounded her head, making her hair glow. Ned stared at her in awe. He reached out his hand to touch her hair, that was draped around her shoulders. The strands felt softer then the most finest silk. He looked into her eyes. Her big brown orbs were filled with so much love that it made Ned's heart melt. A soft, tender smile played on her lips.

"Don't give up on me Ned," she said softly, her voice sounded like she talked in a small empty room, a little echoing but warm nonetheless.

"Never," Ned said softly, just above a whisper, but with so much certainly.

"I'm waiting for you," This time it sounded like a promise, not a accusation. "I love you Ned Bigby," with that she started to fade.

"No! Mose please, don't leave me!" Ned cried out, voice filled with pain and loss.

But Jennifer kept fade away, until she was completely gone.

"Help me…" a raw whisper echoed trough the complete room, cutting right trough Ned's soul. The desperate cry of help, filled with pain and mortal fear belonged to the only girl Ned ever loved.

Ned bolted upright in bed, cold sweat soaked his t-shirt. The frantic cry for help still ringed in his head. "I'm sorry Mose," Ned said with a trembling voice before soundless tears rolled down his cheek.

It was the third nightmare he had like that, although the 'angel Mose' didn't appeared before. It ripped Ned apart. He just couldn't take it any longer.

After the funeral was over, Ned's father lectured him about his behavior, but Ned didn't care; Jennifer had to be alive, she just has to!

He looked at one of the pictures of her that hung on the opposite wall.

"I won't give up on you Mose, never…" with that he laid back down since it was only three in the morning, and soon found himself sleeping soundly.

The next morning, Ned woke up feeling like crap. And it didn't got better when he looked into the mirror. His hair was messier then when a tornado would dance through it. His eyes where very bloodshot and had dark purple bags under them. "Great, a look that measures my feelings," Ned murmured to himself.

The smell of bacon and eggs filled his nose when he walked down the stairs. His stomach rumbled in protest of lack of food lately. And for once in days, Ned felt like eating in more ways then hunger. He really wanted to.

Surprised to find everyone at the table, including Kevin who kind of avoided him the past days, he sat down and filled his plate with bacon eggs and toast. With a appetite that would suit a bear he digged in.

Ned's parent's both looked at him with amazement.

As every morning, the TV in the kitchen stood on the news. A reporter told about the 'touching funeral' Ned head snapped up when he heard himself say: "She isn't dead! Can't you see? They never found her body, or anything else that could point out whether she's dead or not!" "Tragic words said by Ned Bigby who is known to be Jennifer Ann Mosley's best friend and boyfriend"

Ned was fuming with rage, that they had the guts to put that in the news! His father eyed him with concern. Ned sighed and finished his last peace of toast, before he went back to his room.

He felt terrible, a part of him wanted to believe that Jennifer was still alive, but the other part of him already accepted the opposite.

His cell phone rang for the millionth time.

"Yes?" Ned said coldly, he was sick of people who called him all the time to tell him that they felt sorry for him and asking if he was okay.

"Ned, i just saw the news, although I was there… but still, are you alright?" It was Cookie, he called him at least five times a day to check on him, along with Susie.

"I don't know Cookie… I really don't," Ned said truthfully.

"Why don't you come over, my parents aren't home, so we can talk peacefully," Cookie offered.

Despise himself, Ned felt his lips form the first smile in what felt like years.

"I'll be right there, just give me a sec to get dressed," with that, Ned hung up. Cookie was incredibly supportive of Ned, although he didn't believe that Jennifer was still alive, he could fully understand why Ned thought and felt that way.

Ned walked to his closet and pulled the first pants and shirt out he could find.

Hastily throwing them on, Ned bolted towards the door, shouted in the direction of the kitchen that he was off to Cookie.

He was going to tell him everything, the nightmares, the desperate cry of help that echoed non-stop in his head and his thoughts.

As soon Ned drove his bike onto Cookies driveway, the door opened and a concerned Cookie appeared.

Ned placed his bike against the garage wall and walked towards him.

"Tell me Ned, tell me everything," Cookie said as soon they sat down on the black leather couch. Cookie had made tea, and handed Ned a cup.

Ned took a sip, the hot liquid cleared his throat of the lump he couldn't get rid of.

When Ned was finished telling him about his last night's dream Cookie eyed him with all the seriousness he could muster. Ned never saw him that serious before.

"I guess that your dream was you sub consciousness telling you to stop blaming yourself, and remember Mose like she was, and that you can't accept that she's dead…" he said before taking a sip of tea.

Ned nodded his head. "She told me to believe that she was still alive, to never give up on that… on her," Ned explained. He left the cry of help that taunted him all day out of the story, Cookie was worried enough as it was.

"So you think that Mose visited you in your dreams, to assure you that's she's still alive? That's crazy Ned, even for you…" Cookie said while shaking his head.

Ned sighed, he had to admit that he had a point there.

"But I know that she's still alive, I can feel it. I can't explain how or why I'm feeling and thinking like that…But I know," Ned said determinedly.

"Ned, they never found her…" Cookie tried to reason him.

"Exactly!" Ned exclaimed. "They never found her body, so what if she managed to get off the train right after the crash?"

"Ned, even if she did managed to get out of there right afterwards, she should've died of her injuries… besides, someone should of seen her by now… the place was full of people! And their still some out there to clear the rails," Cookie explained.

"I don't know Cookie, I have a strong believing in that she's still alive, and I won't let go of that until I've seen her," Ned finished his tea, and putted the cup carefully on the coffee table.

"I know that you heard this hundreds of times, but I understand what your going through Ned," Cookie said, placing an comforting hand on Ned's shoulder.

"Thanks Cookie, if I didn't had you, I would be crazy by now…" Ned said with a appreciating smile.

Cookie smiled back. "That's were best friends are for Ned,"

"Kevin takes it also bad you know… hasn't stopped crying for days…" Ned said, staring at the cup in front of him.

"He liked her, didn't he?" Cookie asked with a knowing smile.

"Ned nodded. "He even had her picture stuffed under his pillow," he said with a smile.

"I think a lot of people liked her, the priest for an instant, he said more about her then of the rest of the victims together," Cookie stated.

"Can you blame them?" Ned asked with a tender smile. "She's just one of the very few that you meet and instantly like,"

Cookie nodded in agreement. "She never turns her back on anyone that needs her… no matter if she is on good terms with that person or not…"

"Even Missy cried for her," Ned said with a frown.

"Suzie is devastated, I knew they were quite close, but she's in a even worse state then I am," Ned continued.

"Did you saw all those teachers?" Cookie asked while placing his cup on the table too.

Ned nodded. "Chopsaw came to me and pulled me in a hug, telling me that she had the greatest personality that he's ever seen,"

"Even Crubbs cried," Cookie added with a nod. "Of everyone I know, he's the last one I expect to cry… ever,"

Ned just stared ahead of him.

"I'm getting some more tea," Cookie said while wiping his eyes.

Ned nodded, but kept staring to the coffee table.

Cookie stood up, collected the cups and went to the kitchen.

Ned recognized something about the table, a incredible complicated carving of a rose on the small side of the coffee table, he recognized it as Jennifer's 'brand' she always carved the rose in everything she made of wood, Ned's nightstand for one.

"Cookie, is that… is that the table Mose made for her woodshop test last year?" Ned asked as soon Cookie came back with the refilled cups.

"Yes," Cookie said proudly while placing the cups onto the table.

"My father went to the school fair last year, and the woodshop projects where for sell if they're not taken home. I recognized it as one of Mose's creations, and as soon my dad found that out, he bought it… cost him hundred fifty bucks, but he admired her style." Cookie smiled softly at the memory.

They talked a little more for a while until Cookies aunt called, she wanted him to visit her.

Ned left and when i rode home, i felt like a huge burden was taken off his shoulders. When he opened the front door he even managed to smile softly. Maybe Cookie was right, dwelling on something that was impossible just brakes you, you better accept the tragic and try to do your best with it.

Ned was surprised that no one was home, a small note lay on the kitchen counter, telling him that they went to grandma. Ned shrugged and took a soda.

A moment later, his cell phone rang, Ned rolled his eyes. Not even bothering to check the callers ID he picked up.

"Yes?" he said in a cold tone. What he heard next send cold shivers down his spine, his neck hair stood up, and goose bumps creped over his entire body. The two words that tormented him all day was heard through his cell phone.

"Help me…"

* * *

So? still hate me????

HAVE FAITH IN ME PEOPLE!!!!

leave a review ;-)

but i seriously think that this is the longest chapter i wrote in ages...

anyway, can you guys please stop hating me??? its killing me!


	7. More Confusion and Regaining Hope

I'm so sorry thar it took me so long...

i had a few emergencies in the family, and a computer ban...

i would've aired this MUCH sooner if it wasn't for my dog

you guys are never gonna believe this, but

the dog ate my original chapter6 so i had to rewrite the whole thing!

i want to thank everyone who reviewed, thanks guys!!!!

anyway...

enjoy the chapter ;-)

* * *

Chapter 6:

A can of soda soared to the ground, the liquid within soaking most of the kitchen floor and splattering against the cabinets. But this went unnoticed by Ned, he pressed his, now free, hand against his other ear to shut every possible sound out. "Moze, still with me girl, where are you?" Ned asked, completely panicking at the quietness on the other end of the line.

"I… i'm… please, help me," The voice was raw, the cry pleading. It sounded like she had huge difficulty to breathe. Ned tightened his grip on his cell phone. "Moze, where are you?" He asked again. A soft click was heard and the line went dead.

"Moze? Moze! Jennifer!" Ned yelled, but no avail.

"Aargh," in pure frustration, Ned slammed his fist on the counter.

He was so scared, yet overjoyed that she was still alive, that little black dots blurred his sight.

"I will find you girl, I promise," with that said, the dots grew larger until blackness surrounded him.

"Ned? Ned!" the voice that called him seemed to come from afar. Ned opened his eyes. The bright light on the ceiling right above him was blinding, he blinked a couple of times before he realized that someone was knelt beside him.

He looked in his dad worried face, and tried to focus his gaze.

"Your mom and i started to wonder when your depression would get the better of you…" Ned heard his father say, but didn't listened; he just found out how he ended up onto the kitchen floor.

"Dad, you have to listen to me, we have to save Moze!" Ned said, panicking again, subconsciously he had grabbed his father's shirt by the collar in a very tight grip. His fathers expression became stern. "Now listen Ned, i've had enough of your crazy idea's! You keep repeating that Jennifer is still alive, breeding on a ridiculous theory that she managed to get off the train because they never found her body… When do you open your eyes, and see what kind of grief your 'believes' brings to the Mosley family! Jennifer, how much it hurts me to say it, will never walk though our front door again Ned! Try to accept that, and then you're able to deal with it!" Ned never saw his dad so angry, and he knew that when he was angry, it wasn't pretty. But he also knew that Jennifer was still out there, probably dying while he was arguing.

"Dad," Ned said far more calmly then he felt. "Moze just called me on my cell, she asked… no… begged me for help! And while we are discussing my sanity, she is dying!"

Mr. Bigby got up from his kneeling position. "That's it young man, i'm calling doctor Hykes!" He walked towards the phone and dialed a number. Ned got up also, he knew that convincing his dad was a lost case. He walked towards the kitchen door, his father saw him and turned. "Where are you going young man?" He demanded slightly worried.

"I'm going to find Moze, and if you won't help me, i find someone who will…" With that, the kitchen door swung shut. Ned heard a faint "Get back here this instant Ned Bigby" before he closed the front door. He knew that he was in trouble, but couldn't care less, he finally had proof that Moze was still alive.

Ned placed his bike against Cookies garage wall, before realizing that Cookie left to visit his aunt. Softly cursing under his breath he withdrew the bike from the wall and exited Cookies street. A few minutes later, he stopped his bike at Suzie's house. With a faint feeling of nervousness he rang the bell.

Suzie opened the door, surprised to find Ned on her threshold, looking hopeless.

"Ned are you alright?" She asked with worry.

"Suzie, i know that you won't believe me, but please hear me out," Ned pleaded.

Suzie looked puzzled, but stepped back so Ned could come in.

"So, i'm listening…" Suzie said as soon they sat in her comfy living room.

Ned took a deep breath. "Its about Moze,"

"Ned, no, i don't want to hear you saying that you found yet another proof that she's still alive. I can't stand it anymore! Can't you see how much you hurt people by keep saying that? Losing a friend is hard enough without someone that keeps claiming that she's still alive! I know you miss her Ned, we all do. But face it, she is gone!" Suzie's eyed filled with tears.

"Suzie, she called me on my cell, she begged me for help," Ned spoke softly.

Suzie let out a sob. "She called you?"

"Yes she did! She asked me to help her," Ned repeated again.

Suzie sobbed again. "I think its best that you leave," She managed to say before she broke down crying.

"Suzie…" Ned felt awful. He knew that he was hurting her.

"Leave!" Suzie yelled, devastated.

Ned sighed and stood up, Suzie wasn't going to believe him either.

Once again, Ned found himself on a driveway, he needed help soon, but the ones that could help him didn't believe him, and the only one Ned knew he had a chance with, left the town. Frustrated he kicked against the garage wall, took his bike and hit the road again.

He could mentally kick himself for forgetting his cell phone, that still lay discarded onto the kitchen floor, going back to get it wasn't an option, seeing that his father might lock him up or something.

But he was also starting to doubt himself, did that phone call really happened? Or did he dream it while he was unconscious? Besides, what chances are there that Jennifer did called him, and repeated the exact same thing at the exact same way? The words still haunted Ned's head, more then it did before…

Was his dad right? Did his depression really got the better of him? Defeated, Ned went back home.

He just has to cope with the fact that he lost the girl of his dreams.

His father looked up at him when he entered the living room.

"Dad, i want to say… i'm sorry. I just cant bear the thought of not having her in my live anymore… you're right dad, i should accept the fact that she's gone, and try to deal with that…" Ned sat down on the couch.

"No Ned, you were right…" His father said in a soft tone.

Ned's head snapped up. "What…?"

Then his eye fell upon his cell phone that his father was holding.

"I checked, she really did call you…" Mr. Bigby continued with a expression of disbelief mixed with shock.

Ned jumped up. "Then why are we sitting here?"

"Your mother has the car…" his father said, looking defeated.

Ned smacked his hand against his head.

"Wait…" He took his cell phone and dialed. "Brian, can i ask you a favor?"

* * *

I'm seriously thinking that the end of this chapter kinda sucked...

can't help it...

this chapter turned out to be VERY different then the original, and i like most of it...

but the end is a thorn in my eye...

erm... i cannot say when i'm going to air the next chapter...

i'm also buzy with other stories and my personal life :p:p

wel... i'll tell you guys a secret...

do you see that purple button?

it says: leave a review, but in fact its a secret passage to lots and lots of cookies!!!!


	8. Flashbacks and the Crash Site

ok... seriously... THE HARDEST CHAPTER EVER!!!!!

but its worth it...

its also one of the longest chapters this story will have...

I'm having a dillemma...

I can end this story with the next chapter...

or continue it with a GREAT!!!!! twist of things

but... there's a catch...

I want at least 10 reviews on this chapter -grins-

and I'm serious, give me 10 reviews and I'll continue it with a madly twist..

or I'll end it at the next chapter...

i don't say this to get more reviews... but only to see if YOU GUYS want me to continue this...

so... think about it... ;-)

Read, have fun during reading, and after reading, please me with a review :p

'nough said i think...

* * *

Chapter 7:

"So… let me get this straight… You called me because you want to find your girlfriend, who is buried yesterday?" Brian asked while driving towards the subway.

"I know that it sounds unlikely, but she IS still alive, now i know for sure…" Ned said determinedly.

"Ned, they buried her…" Brian said, shaking his head.

"Brian, they never found her body to begin with, and she called me this afternoon!" Ned threw his hands in the air in frustration.

"Yes, but Ned, its unlikely… Even if she did call you, the possibility still remains that she's…"

"Don't finish that sentence, she isn't," Ned interrupted angrily.

Brian sighed. "You know I'm on your side Ned, no matter what…"

"You sound like I'm gonna rob the bank…" Ned laughed.

"What you want to do is also illegal, no one is allowed to enter the crash site," Brian explained. "They will never let you pass…"

"I know, but I have to try… It'll be well worth the trouble…" Ned said softly.

Brian sighed again and placed a comforting hand on Ned's shoulder. "If you really sure about this, who am I to stop you?" he laughed.

"Thanks Brian, I really appreciate this…" Ned smiled at his cousin and stared at the road, his mind wandering elsewhere.

- Flashback -

"I'm serious Ned, I really think that you're just dating Suzie because she and Moze are almost the same qua personalities…" Cookie said in an almost desperate tone.

Ned leant against his locker. "That's ridiculous, Cookie. Moze is my best friend, she could even be my sister considering how close we are…"

"Ask yourself the big questions, Ned: why do you like Suzie?"

Ned frowned, deep in thought. "Because… she… she really is…" Ned's frown grew deeper. "I liked her since the fourth grade…"

Cookie nodded but grinned nonetheless. "Keep telling yourself that Ned…"

"Hey guys…" Jennifer walked towards them, with the most brilliant smile.

"Hey," Ned and Cookie said, the one more enthusiastic while the other was still in thoughts.

"Exited about the upcoming Valentines Dance?" Jennifer asked, even more smiling.

"Ab-so-lute-ly," Cookie grinned. "I'm gonna ask Lisa to be my valentine," Cookie placed a hand over his heart and sighed.

"But… aren't you dating her already?" Jennifer asked, confused.

"Yes, but this would be our first real date, besides, I'm gonna tell her that I love her for the first time… we've been dating for almost a year…" Cookie explained.

"That's sweet! How 'bout you Ned? You and Suzie are dating for over two years now…" Jennifer said while patting Ned on the shoulder. "How does she put up with you for so long?" she added with a grin.

"I've charm.. just call me irresistible…" Ned grinned. "But what about you?" He asked, changing the subject.

"I'm going with Trevor…" She sighed defeated.

"The football captain? But you despise him!" Ned exclaimed.

"Yeah, I do… But coach Horckx made us, he's convinced that the team's captains are destined to go out…" Jennifer shrugged.

"He's exited though…" she added with a frown.

"Jennifer!" Trevor called from the science class doorway across the hall.

"Speaking of the bastard… gotta run…" with that, Jennifer took off.

Trevor watched her stalk off with a dreamy look on his face that reminded Ned of Loomer. "If he ever tries anything funny with Moze, I'm gonna castrate him with a spoon…" Ned said darkly.

"Just admit that you like her Ned, so I can go on with my life…" Cookie sighed.

"Cookie, I see her as my best friend, as a sister! I don't have romantic feelings for her in any way…" Ned said, getting tired of the subject.

"But…" Cookie started.

"No buts, I don't see her that way, and that's final!" Ned closed his locker and stalked off.

- End flashback -

Ned smiled softly, Cookie knew all along what Ned felt for Jennifer, probably long before Ned realized it himself…

"We'll find her Ned, don't worry…" Brian said assuring when Ned's smile turned into a troubled expression.

"I hope so Brian, don't know what I'll do otherwise.

Multiple scenario's played in Ned's head, scene's on how bad Jennifer would look when they find her… it they find her.

Ned shook his head in a unsuccessful attempt to clear his head of the hideous visions. Ned shuddered when the image of a very bloody Jennifer came into his head. Her arms had deep gashes, her blouse soaked with blood, a wooden pin in her left leg and several bleeding head wounds. Her pale skin and dull, empty eyes staring hopelessly ahead of her.

Ned felt like he was going to cry, he couldn't bare the very thought of which state they where going to find her in.

Brian seemed to have the same thought. He looked at Ned and spoke with a deep, serious voice: "Ned, you do realize that, if we find her, she can look… erm… wounded… do you?"

Ned nodded. "I don't care what she looks like Brian, I love her… No matter what," Ned said from the depths of his heart.

Brian smiled. "Jennifer really is a lucky girl to have you…"

"No Brian, I'm the lucky one…" Ned said with a faint smile.

Brian took a turn onto the Capra Road that went over the tunnel. About fifty foot further, Ned saw the remaining bits of the Antilope Valley Line 270. Just by the looks of it, Ned knew that the crash had been enormous. A strong feeling of trounce went trough him like the vast waves of the sea.

Ned knew that there was little chance to find Jennifer. But he had to search every square foot until he found her.

Brian pulled over and turned off his car engine. "Are you really sure about this?" he asked with worry.

"I have to find her Brian, she's my everything…" Ned sighed. He unleashed his seatbelt and got out of the car. Brian quickly followed his example.

They walked towards the crash site in silence. The area was sealed with a broad yellow string. An other scene played in Ned's head, when he and Jennifer just started dating.

- flashback -

"Ned, can i ask you something?" Jennifer asked.

She sat between his legs on the volleyball stance. Ned leaned with his back against the wall, with his arms around his waist.

"Anything," Ned smiled.

Jennifer laid her head back on his shoulder. "If you 'realized' your feelings for me during the Valentine's Dance, then why did you wait nearly two months?" She shifted a little so she could look at him.

Ned smiled softly. "In short: I was scared…"

"Why?" Jennifer asked confused.

"Its quite a step when friends become more then friends… even when friends feel more for each other then friends are supposed to do can be a huge change." Ned explained.

"And in English it means…" Jennifer said slightly confused.

"I was scared of losing you…" Ned said in a tone barely above a whisper.

Jennifer smiled and sat up. Leaning towards him she said tenderly: "You will never lose me, Ned Bigby, no matter what happens…" with that she kissed him softly on the lips before she turned around again and nestled herself against him. Ned grinned broadly and tightened his embrace a little.

- End Flashback -

Ned couldn't help but smile brightly at the memory. He loved that girl with all his heart, and nothing, not even a train crash could change that. He sighed deeply when the site came into better view. Dozens of men scurried around the place. Loading the heavy train pieces onto a huge construction-site truck, and checking the damage on the rails.

He nearly lost all his hope, there was no way they would let a goofy teenager pass, who declares that his assumed-to-be-dead- girlfriend is still out there. And sneaking in wasn't an option either.

"Brian, how do we get in?" Ned asked nervous.

"Don't worry about that, I didn't drive all this way for nothing…" Brian grinned.

They reached the sealed area and stood before the broad yellow string. A man in a orange vest came towards them. His hair was grey, thin with a vague hint of charcoal black. He had a large stomach and big arms. His soft blue eyes where alert. With his brown with grey moustache, faint purple bags under his eyes and thick eyebrows gave him the look of a war-hardened colonel. Ned swallowed nervously and took a step forward when the man reached the string.

"Can I help yeh?" he asked crossly, his eyebrows frowned and his lips a little pursed.

"Erm…" Ned stumbled, unsure what to say.

"Aren't you that goofy kid on the news this morning?" The man asked snapping.

Ned nodded, he started to get annoyed.

"Listen kid, I'm sorry what happened to your girlfriend, but she's gone… Stubbornly thinking she isn't dead doesn't bring her back from the death you know…" the more he said, the less Ned liked him, and he didn't like him at all in the first place.

"Sir, I'm sorry to bother you and your co-workers here… But I have to…" Ned began.

"Forget it sonny, you're not coming in, I have more to do then to babysit a kid who desperately need to find proof that his dead girlfriend is still alive," the man barked before Ned could finish his sentence.

"But you don't understand!" Ned shouted in desperation.

"Don't understand huh?" The man said darkly. "You're not the only one who lost a loved one kid, I lost my son on that damned train!"

"If they didn't found his body, wouldn't you try everything to find it? To reassure yourself that there's indeed nothing you could do to save him?" Ned asked, looking at the man with begging eyes.

The man sighed, and looked more human to Ned.

"Look kid, I can't just let anyone in here, this is a crash site! People are working here on a tight schedule." The man tried to explain himself.

"Would or wouldn't you?" Ned insisted.

"She could be in a kind of state, that would even put your worst nightmare to shame you know…" The man tried to reassure him.

"I'm willing to take that risk sir…" Ned said, looking him straight in the eye.

"Do you have an idea how to cope if you found the girl you love with missing body parts, soaked in blood en beyond recognizable state?" the man asked.

"Sir, I have prove that she is still alive…" Ned said, using his last resort.

He drew his cell phone, and went to 'received calls.' He showed the man the date, time and name of the caller.

The man sighed again. "Sure it was her who made the call?" the man asked, with a soft, almost fatherly tone this time.

"Yes, she called me before the train crashed, saying that she was heading towards a tunnel… This one I think…" Ned said with a look at the said tunnel. "Then a little later the show I was watching was interrupted by the news that this train derailed… then I collapsed, then my best friend came over… then my outburst on the funeral that she wasn't dead, then she sort of appeared into my dream, telling me to really believe that she was still out there. Then I went to my friend, he told me also to let go of her… and actually, I did for a little while… Then I came home… The rest of my family went to my grandma, so I was all alone there… Then my cell started to ring, I picked up and she asked me for help… no she begged me to help her… then I fainted… my dad found me, I told him that she called, he didn't believe it, so I went to my ex girlfriend who is Moze's best girl-friend, she started to cry and threw my out and…" Ned rambled. He was speaking so fast that the man barely catches any of it. Brian looked at him with a half amused half worried face.

"okay, okay…" The man scratched the back of his head while attempting to sort Ned's story out. "So she called you this afternoon?"

"yes," Ned said with a nod.

"And you're completely sure it was her?" the man asked with raised eyebrows.

"Yes," Ned repeated.

"And you're sure that she's still here?" The man asked, now looking troubled.

"Yes!" Ned exclaimed, getting angry.

Wait here…" the man stalked off. Ned saw him talking to another man in a orange vest, gesturing to Ned, and then around him. Ned saw the other man frown deeply before he said something. The 'colonel' walked away, and came back a few moments later, holding two brightly yellow helmets.

"Put these on…" he said while handing the helmets over to Ned and Brian. "You have an half an hour… and you stay close to me…"

Ned and Brian ducked underneath the string. The man looked at Ned. "Name's Redson…"

"Ned, and this is Brian," Ned said while silently thanking him.

"Now, if she called you, she isn't in the tunnel… we know that much…" Redson said while gesturing towards the tunnel on their left.

"So we better check that last…" he continued.

"Any idea's sonny?" He asked Ned.

"I'm guessing on a place near the train, but away from view, since no-one found her…" Ned said with a frown.

He looked around. On the trains left stood a big tree, behind that was a sort of hill that had the same height as the Capra Road that crossed above the tunnel. On the right, the ground was a foot or ten equal with the rails, before it went down warts. The rails that still had a few left-over compartments was build on a sixty feet platform, equalizing it with the rails that came out of the tunnel, before it went down a small hill.

Ned sighed. "Maybe the tunnel is our best shot…"

Redson nodded and turned. The three of them walked towards the tunnel. Redson drew a flashlight and handed it to Ned, gesturing him to go first. Ned muttered a small word of thanks before he went into the pitch black dark tunnel.

He barely set a foot into it, and already saw that it was impossible for her to be there, the walls and ceiling was built with massive concrete, with not even the smallest crack in it.

Ned walked back out of the tunnel and sighed. He felt more and more defeated with every passing minute.

He checked the with grass and weeds covered walls on the outside. Then walked of towards the hill on the trains left side, and looked carefully if there wasn't any hole, big enough for a human to crawl in. Ned hung his head for a moment, and then walked back towards Redson and Brian, who still stood in front of the tunnel. Redson saw Ned's expression of pure disappointment and averted his gaze. "I'm sorry sonny… I…" He was interrupted when a colleague worker of him ran towards them, looking extremely alarmed. "Sir! Sir there's something you have to see!" He turned and ran back towards the platform-build rails, where he knelt down and aimed his flashlight underneath the rails. Redson, Brian and Ned hurried over there and knelt down beside the worker.

"I think she's still alive sir… Lypes already alarmed the ambulance and the police.

Ned caught a glimpse of an arm, and a fraction of a face, but knew nonetheless that that girl was Jennifer. The relieve went through him with such a forceful wave that Ned felt light-headed. All the men worked together to clear the rails of the remaining train parts and slowly, the badly injured body of Jennifer was visible through the rails, lighted by the several flashlights.

* * *

Quite a chapter huh?

if anyone DARES to say that my chapters are way to short, i'm gonna kick some butt...

anyway... next update is Saturday, unless something comes up!!!!

but to get one thing clear...

that Jennifer is found, doesn't mean that she is alive... -mad scientist laugh-

leave a review and I'll see about the story...

its on your hands really...


	9. More Flashbacks and Spreading the News

The chapters are getting longer and longer don't they?

this chapter was suposed to be up yesterday, but typing it out took me a lot longer then i thought...

and even it did counted over 3000 words, the chapter didn't has everything that i wanted to put into it...

but a 4500 words chapter... hmmm

no, i decided to put that in the next, and finish this chapter on a good way (in my opinion)

one other thing... the story isn't going to stop after this chapter...

its barely started in fact...

the next chapter will point out why i couldn't stop the story...

have fun reading :-)

* * *

Chapter 8: More Flashbacks and a Stranger.

Ned sat in the waiting room of the Intensive Care. They brought Jennifer in an half an hour ago. Ned shuddered at the memory of when they found her underneath the rails platform. Covered in blood, a bleeding wound in the back of her head and several deep cuts all over her body. Ned immediately called her and his parents as soon they reached the hospital.

- Flashback -

When the last bits of train were cleared of the platform, and the platform itself was removed, Ned saw Jennifer completely. And its fair to say that her face was the only thing of her body that didn't appeared to be injured.

Her soft pink blouse was drenched with blood, the same with most of her jeans. She'd clutched a bloodstain cell phone in her right hand.

When the workers carefully lifted her body onto the surface Redson looked at Ned to see his reaction. Ned simply ignored it and knelt down next to her seemingly lifeless body and gently wiped some blood of her face before he stroke her cheek. Brian placed a hand on his shoulder, and patted it a few times.

Ned sighed and kissed Jennifer's forehead ever so slightly. To see her so pale and covered in blood was a stab in the heart, Ned knew that he could consider himself lucky if she lived long enough to make it to the hospital. The head wound was what scared Ned the most. That and the bleeding wound on her chest. "Hang on, girl. Don't you dare to give up now…" Ned said softly.

Faintly he heard the distant sirens of the ambulance and the police. Several moments later, they pulled up close to the crash site, and several medics ran towards them, two of them carried a cot. Ned hastily stepped back when the medics approached him and Jennifer. He watched with a dull feeling in his stomach how Jennifer, the girl he loved, was carefully lifted on the cot, after she'd got a quick check on a possible injured spine and neck.

An other medic placed a comforting hand on Ned's shoulder and led him towards the ambulance, gesturing him to take a seat up front.

Ned obeyed and clicked on his seatbelt before quickly turning around to look at Jennifer through the small glass between the front seats.

"Don't worry, she's strong…" said the same medic that placed a hand on Ned's shoulder while fastening his seatbelt as well. Ned threw him a appreciative smile, and looked back at Jennifer.

"You haven't gave up on her when everyone else did… as harsh as it may sound, so don't give up on her now kid…" The medic said before he drove the ambulance with a wailing siren onto the Soledad Canyon Road.

- End Flashback -

Ned sighed and stared at the double hospital door through which Jennifer disappeared. A door down the hall flew open, and Jennifer's parents appeared, spotting Ned, they rushed over to him.

"Ned," Mrs. Mosley cried and swept him in a spine-breaking hug. "Sorry we didn't believed you honey," she let go of him and wiped away her tears.

"Yes, Ned, if it wasn't for you…" Mr. Mosley said slightly uncomfortable.

"Its alright, if I had a daughter, and she was in a crash, I would've punched the guy who shouted at her burial that she was still alive, I want to apologize for that…" Ned looked at his shoes.

Mr. and Mrs. Mosley looked at each other with a look of pure disbelieve. "You apologize to us?" Mr. Mosley finally spoke.

"Ned, honey, you saved her life… she would've been… well if you didn't pressed the matter… and everyone treated you like a madman…" Mrs. Mosley stammered and hugged Ned again.

"Ned," Mr. Mosley eyed Ned, the seriousness dripped of his face. "I want to apologize too… Before you and Jenny started to go out, you were like a soon to me, and I'm sorry that I treated you like some sort of criminal… Its just… Jenny is my baby girl, and I guess I couldn't stand the fact that I'm not the only man in her life anymore…" Mr. Mosley ran a hand though his hear, clearly discomforted. "What I'm trying to say is, I'm sorry, and I know that you would never hurt her, in any way… you make her happier then I ever saw her, but there're going to be some rules you have to obey when you date my daughter… The first, never dare to bring her home after midnight, unless you have my permission… her education is important, so don't do anything to interfere that… and if you two ever get a fight, and she walks away… don't force her to talk about it if she doesn't wants to…and if you hurt her…"

"Don't worry Mr. Mosley, I love Moze more than my own life… I would never hurt her…" Ned interrupted with a truthful face. "And I promise that I'll obey the rules," he added.

Mr. Mosley smiled. "Then, I see no reason why I should forbid you to date her…"

Ned smiled widely. "Thanks sir, this means a lot to me…" before Ned realized what he did, he hugged Mr. Mosley, who patted him helplessly on his back.

Ned remembered something and released Mr. Mosley. "I have to make a few phone calls…" Ned said softly.

"Go ahead dear, we'll let you know immediately when we get some news," Mrs. Mosley said gently.

"I'll be outside on the bench…" Ned said and turned around.

The sun seemed to be smiling at him when Ned walked outside. His girl was still alive! And no doubt that she was in good hands now. He sat down at the sun-heated bench that was positioned at the middle of the small hospital garden. Different kinds of flowers surrounded the path that lead to the tiny fountain in the centre. Around the fountain, several deep brown benches where positioned before the red and blue flowers. The grass was smooth and seemed to be freshly mowed. Ned watched an elder couple walk the path towards the fountain. Where they took a seat on the bench. The woman intertwined her fingers with his and looked at her husband with loving eyes and a bright smile. Ned adverted his gaze and sighed. His missed Moze more then he could bear. Missed her laugh, how her smile seemed only directed to him… the way she looks at him when he did or said something funny. Ned had to admit, he wasn't the most perfect guy, and yet, Jennifer stuck with him. No matter what, she would always be there.

Ned drew his cell phone and grinned. It was time to break the good news.

He dialed the number of Cookie first, seeing he supported him throughout his whole theory and was there for him when Ned needed him.

"Y'ello?" Cookies voiced said on the other side of the line.

"Cookie? Its me Ned," Ned said softly, eager to break the news.

"Ned are you alright?" Cookie asked with a worried tone.

"Better then ever," Ned beamed.

"How come?" Cookie asked, confused.

Ned told him the whole story, of what happened when he left Cookie's house, till the point that he called him.

"Wait… What?!" Cookie said as soon Ned finished his story.

"Yes, Cookie, she is still alive, and I found her…" Ned laughed.

"Wow… Have you told Suzie yet?" Cookie asked eagerly.

"No I called you first… after Moze's and my parents of course…" Ned explained.

"You call her, I'll inform everyone else…" Cookie said.

"How?" Ned asked, curious.

"Multi text messaging," Cookie said simply.

"Oh, ok, bye Cookie,"

"Bye,"

Ned hung up and immediately dialed Suzie's number. Although he wasn't sure about her reaction.

Suzie picked up after the fifth ring. "Hello?"

"Suzie? Its me, Ned…"

"Ned…" Suzie began, enjoyed. "If you're calling me to tell me more about your stupid idea's…"

"No listen Suzie, I'm sorry for that…" Ned said soothingly.

Suzie sighed. "Why are you calling me Ned?"

Ned sighed also, and braced himself. "Moze is in the hospital right now…"

"What?!" shrieked Suzie. Ned held his cell away from his, now buzzing ear for a moment before he went on. "Please Suzie, believe me, she is in the intensive care as we speak…"

"So… she's still…alive?" Suzie stuttered.

"Yes," Ned said patiently.

"I'm coming to the hospital, I have to know…" her voice faded.

"I'm not lying Suzie…" Ned said softly.

"I know Ned… See you soon…" Suzie hung up.

Ned stared at his cell for a while. He called Suzie, and Cookie said he would let everyone else know. He pocketed his cell phone and stared in front of him. Letting an other memory play in his head.

- Flashback -

The gym was transformed in the most girly room Ned ever saw. The walls were decorated with pink and red hearts, several cupids, complete with arrows and diapers hung down from the ceiling. Above the disco ball , over the entire ceiling, pink clouds with aiming cupids were visible. The floor was almost completely covered in rose petals. The cupcakes and punchbowls were shaped in hearts. The dozens of tables had red silky tablecloths. With a lit candle on each of them. The tables were suited for four persons max. Even the basketball ring was covered in red flowers.

Ned loosened his red tie a little, he felt very uncomfortable in his red tuxedo and if it wasn't required to wear them, Ned would've simply showed up in a comfortable jeans and shirt. He looked at Suzie, who looked stunning in his opinion. Her red long dress fitted her well, it had a split that reached up until just above her right knee. The gown itself reached until her ankles. Her hais formed an elegant knot in her neck, the red necklace and heels completed the outfit.

But when he spotted Jennifer, who stood next to Trevor with a grim face, looked breathtaking. Her blue silky gown reached until the ground with a split that stopped at mid thigh. It had a deep v-neck, but bleu lace made sure that no-one would see to much. The sleeves where long and ended widely, like the sleeves of an angels robe. The light blue dress covered her strap-on high heels in the exact same color. Her hair was pulled in a gracefully Partial French Twist, so her long brown hair swayed on her back a little with every move.

Ned looked at her with his mouth agape, and soon saw that he wasn't the only one; Trevor couldn't torn his eyes away from her, and simply gazed at her, not even noticing the bored expression on Jennifer's face.

A little further he saw Loomer and his two 'partners in crime' looking at her as if they saw an angel. Even Coconut Head seemed to be dashed.

From the corner of his eye, Ned saw Cookie looking at him with a huge grin on his face. Ned felt like a kid who got caught with his hand in the candy jar and quickly closed his mouth and looked away. He heard Suzie sigh and worried if she saw him looking at Jennifer instead of being completely stunned by her beauty as he should… at least… according to Suzie.

"Punch?" Ned asked Suzie, not knowing what else to say.

"Yes…" Suzie nodded with a appreciating smile. "Ow and Ned," Suzie said when Ned turned to get some punch. "could you also bring me a cupcake?"

"No problem," Ned sighed. The party nearly started and he already felt like a butler.

When he filled two plastic beaker with the reddish punch. Cookie snuck up on him. "So… have you finally found out?" he asked in a casual tone.

Ned frowned. "Found out what?" he asked confused.

"That you like Moze," Cookie continued, still talking in his casual voice.

"Cookie, can you give it a rest? There's no way that I have any deeper feelings for Moze then friendship… what gave you the idea in the first place?" Ned said in a tired voice. He was just sick of the topic that always came up in verey single conversation he had with Cookie.

"Besides the way you looked at her a few moments ago?" Cookie asked sarcastic. "well lets see… you're always very cheerfully when she kisses you on the cheek. You look like you're in heaven when she hugs you… or d'you remember that time…"

"Ok, I got it already! Look Cookie, Moze and I are friends, and that'll never change… no matter what…" with that Ned left with the two beakers of punch.

He gave Suzie her cup with a fake smile. Suzie looked at Ned as if expecting something. "My cupcake?" Suzie asked when Ned eyed her questionably.

"Right… be right back," Ned almost run towards the long table with the cakes. He grabbed one and made his way back to Suzie. With a mutter of apology he handed her the cake, and looked around him.

Some couples were already on the dance floor since the first mushy love song began several seconds ago.

Ned inwardly grunted when he saw Jennifer dancing with Trevor. They looked so perfect together if you stopped and thought about it; both where they captain of the sports teams, they both were popular (even though Jennifer denied it) and they were both competitive. Ned sighed, telling himself that the vicious creature, that roared in displeasure with the sight of Jennifer and Trevor together, was nothing more then a brotherly feeling of apprehension. He didn't trusted Trevor, end of story… It didn't had anything to do with whether he had feelings for Jennifer or not. He just looked out for her, nothing more.

"Wanna dance?" Suzie asked, although it sounded more like an command.

"Sure," Ned answered while he didn't even heard what Suzie said. It was only when Suzie took his cup out of his hand and pulled him over to the dance floor that Ned knew what was going to happen. And he didn't like it one bit.

Suzie wrapped her arms around his neck and laid her head against his shoulder as they slowly turned on the spot. Ned laid his hands reluctantly on her waist.

When Suzie lifted her head up to look him in the eyes several moments later, he braced himself. He knew what was going to happen, and for the first time, he honestly didn't wanted it to happen. Susie lifted her head more upwards and kissed Ned softly on the lips. During the short kiss Ned's first thought was how Jennifer's lips would feel against his, and this thought shocked him so deeply that he abruptly broke the kiss.

"What's wrong?" Suzie asked, faintly pouting.

"Nothing, I just… remembered that I didn't like this song…" Ned said while mentally kicking himself, it sounded lame, even in his ears!

"Ok…" Suzie said unconvinced, while eying Ned suspiciously.

Meanwhile, Ned tried to push the thought off, but failed miserably. How could he even think such a thing?! He dated the girl of his dreams for nearly three years, and that he thought about kissing his best friend! That felt just as wrong as thinking of kissing your sibling. Well, maybe not, but it was still bad. Maybe Cookie was right, maybe he had more feelings for the girl with the big brown eyes then he knew. Ned quickly threw that thought out of the window; there was no way that he liked Jennifer more then a close friend, and even if he did, there was no way that he would risk their almost life-long friendship…

Ned sighed, he needed to talk to Cookie, maybe that he knew what to do, he did figure Ned's feelings for Jennifer out long before Ned himself did…

"Can I have this dance?" A Junior year asked Suzie. He was tall, had short brown hair. His face was slightly tanned with freckles on and next to his nose.

Suzie looked at Ned. "Sure, go ahead, I need to talk to a friend anyway…" Ned said quickly, relieved that he now had an excuse.

Suzie took the Junior's hand and disappeared into the crowd that filled the dance floor. In seconds, she vanished completely from Ned's view.

Ned frowned to himself, it was the first time that he didn't got jealous when a boy other then him gave Suzie attention.

Dazed, he made his way towards the punch table. To his surprise Jennifer stood there, gulping a full cup of punch down in one swig.

"Hi," Ned greeted slightly awkward.

"Hey Neddy!" Jennifer said with such an enthusiasm that she nearly spilled punch all over her from her newly filled cup.

"Are you alright," Ned asked with a frown.

"Of course," Jennifer giggled while making a waving gesture at him. "Ok, I'm not fine!" she snapped afterwards, as if Ned pressed the matter.

"That jerk of a Trevor is driving me insane! A rhino would be more of a gentlemen according to him! Always staring… And not at my face… noooo! He acts like he owns the place and everyone in it! Like I'm some kind of possession! And what's with his hair? He can't leave his disastrous excuse for a decent haircut alone for one freakin' minute! Really, compared to his, Coconut Head's haircut looks like it came from a magazine! What happened? A war with his electric hedge trimmer?" Jennifer was so busy with complaining that she didn't notice the many stares and laughs from the people around her.

"So, how's your night?" she asked after a large swig of punch.

"I think my feelings for Suzie died…" Ned said matter of factly.

"Oow," Jennifer pouted and before Ned knew what was going on, she swept him into a hug. A lot of "ooh's and aah's" from the people around them buzzed in Ned ears and he blushed slightly.

"What happened?" Jennifer asked as soon she let go of him.

"Dunno actually… I just don't like her like I used to like her… I dread it when I know she's going to kiss me, and as soon as I see her, I feel like hiding," Ned tried to explain.

Jennifer looked at her mop haired friend with compassion. "But you liked her since the fourth grade…"

"I know…" Ned sighed.

Out of the blue, Jennifer started to giggle. Ned frowned at her. His frown deepened when she started to laugh the living daylight out of herself.

"What's so funny?" Ned asked, confused.

Jennifer just waved dismissively, and continued laughing.

"I'm… sorry…N…Ned," She managed to squeal between laughs.

"Ok…" Ned said, walking towards the punch bowl. "What did they put in here anyway…?" he scooped a little punch with the spoon and sniffed at it. He jerked his head away when a strong odor of alcohol met his nose. "This is spiked!" Ned said to Jennifer, who didn't seem to have heard that.

"Moze, how many cups did you have?" Ned asked with highly raised eyebrows.

Jennifer frowned for a few moments before raising eight fingers in the air.

"Five!" she said with a face convinced voice.

"Right…" Ned sighed. "You're drunk aren't you?"

"Psh, of course not!" right after she said this, Jennifer tripped and nearly fell flat on her face if it wasn't for Ned's quick reflexes. "Ok, maybe a little," she said while getting on her feet again.

"Yeah, I thought as much…" Ned said while rolling his eyes. "You stay here, I'm going to find Cookie… And don't go anywhere!"

Jennifer made an army-salute. "Yes sir!"

Ned sighed deeply and took off. He found Cookie near the cake table.

"Ned, is something wrong?" Cookie asked, alarmed by the look on Ned's face.

"Moze is smashed," Ned said in a hurry.

Cookie's eyes widened. "I always wanted to see a drunk Moze.." he grinned.

"Cookie, this is serious!" Ned said firmly.

"Where is she?" Cookie asked, all of the sudden serious.

"By the punch table…" Ned said, gesturing wildly around him.

The two boys took off towards the punch table with Lisa in their wake.

Ned nearly panicked when he found the punch table deserted.

"Where is she?" Ned muttered, looking around with utter bewilderment.

"owh," Cookie said alarmed while pointing at the dance floor.

Ned looked in the same direction that Cookie pointed out, and didn't like one bit of what he saw.

Jennifer stood on the dance floor, in front of the also pissed Trevor, who seemed to try to force something.

When Ned looked more closely, he noticed that Trevor was doing his very best to hold her hands, that kept pushing him away, firmly while attempting to kiss her.

The monster in Ned's chest roared with pure repugnance and repulsion. He stepped towards the dance floor.

- End Flashback -

"Ned?" the voice of Suzie Crabgrass pulled Ned back out of his memory. He looked at her witch slight confusion.

"Sorry I just got… distracted…" Ned admitted while rubbing his temples.

Suzie took a seat next to him and looked at Ned with suspicious yet hopeful eyes. "Ned, you wouldn't… lie about this… would you?"

"Of course not!" Ned said defensive. "Look, I know that I stated the impossible, and no doubt it was painful for everyone that loved Moze… But I've been right all along…" Ned sighed and started to tell his story of what happened after he left Suzie's house.

By the time Ned was finished, Suzie's eyes were big, and wet of the unshed tears. "Do you think she'll be ok?" Suzie asked.

Ned frowned. "I honestly don't know…" he sighed deeply and looked at the elder couple that still sat a few benches further.

He jerked his head up when he saw Mrs. Mosley ran towards them. Ned feared the worst and tried to mentally brace himself. But how can you honestly prepare yourself for the most horrible news? Ned tried to get rid of his torturous feeling that Mrs. Mosley had the most horrible news to tell him. For all he knew she came to tell him that Jennifer was awake…

With a stomach filled with concrete Ned stood up to face Mrs. Mosley.

* * *

quite a chapter... my baby... -sighs- OWKAY...

dunno when the next update is, saturday is upload day... but it might be up sooner then that, or maybe even later... dunno

i also want to thank everyone for the reviews, i love them all!!!


	10. Words of Comfort and Confronting Reality

Sorry that it took me so lang to update...

but I had a very bussy time...

the story is also going to be cut short, so an alternate ending will replace the original, whiwh shortens the story for about 6 chapters...

after this chapter is chapter 10...

then a Bonus chapter

and then the Epilogue

so this story is near its end...

thanks again for the faithful reviewers

xxx

Chapter 9: Words of Comfort and Confronting Reality

Ned looked at Mrs. Mosley like she could sentence him to death. Which at some point actually was true. Her face showed little what the news could be, it was still the dumb-struck and frightened look she had earlier.

"Ned, dear…" Mrs. Mosley said as soon she was close enough to talk. "They just brought Jenny back to the intensive care, she… Its not sure what will happen when she wakes up, if she ever wakes up..." she let out a heavy sob. Ned did the only thing he thought of; he hugged Mrs. Mosley and whispered to her that Jennifer would be alright. That she made it to far to give up now.

Mrs. Mosley muttered a word of appreciation and left, leaving Ned and Suzie alone again.

"So she is really…" Suzie said softly, tears glistering in her chestnut colored eyes.

Ned simply nodded, he still had to sort out the events of the past hours.

A single tear rolled down his cheek when Ned turned to Suzie. "I love her Suzie… I can't cope if she…" Ned's breath quivered and more tears started to fall.

"She will be okay Ned, I promise… I'm sorry for not believing you…" Suzie hugged Ned close and stroke his hear in a comforting way.

"Any news?" the careful voice of Cookie made Ned jump. He turned around to face his best friend. "She just came back of surgery, she's lying in the intensive care now… No one knows when she'll wake 

up…" Ned said while looking down at his shoes, not able to look Cookie in the eye.

"Will she… there's something you're not telling me…" Cookie said, looking worried.

Ned drew a large breath before he blurted out: "They're not sure how she'll be when she wakes up…"

Cookie's eyes went wide. Without one more word he pulled Ned into a hug. "This is probably not the good time to say this, but you made the news again Ned…"

Ned frowned. "Now what?"

"Well, they call you the 'poor boy no one listens to but stuck to it till the end'" Cookie said, frowning also.

"They call me what now?" Ned snapped.

"You're a hero Ned," Cookie said with a sad grin.

"So now I'm not the lunatic that can't accept that his girlfriend is dead? Now, when its to late for them to help, they see that I was right al along… They make a report over it, saying that I'm some kind of hero?" Ned said, outraged. "When would they just butt off and leave me, Moze and our families alone?"

"I know Ned, but…" Cookie sighed. "No, no buts, you're right, they should leave it alone, but that's the press, they die if they don't have a good story in time… and to tell you the truth, this is quite a story… a bit scary though…"

"Tell me about it," the grim voice of Suzie piped up.

Ned looked at her with worry, she hasn't said anything since she asked if Jennifer would be alright.

"Well it is…" Suzie said, taking Ned's worried expression as one of disbelieve. "You showed up at my door, telling me that Jennifer called you to beg you to help her… A little before that, Simon called me and told me about your dream…," Ned shot Cookie an annoyed glance at this. "And then you tell me that she called you… and… now she's here…" Suzie let herself fall back onto the bench and rested her forehead on her palms, a sob escaped her. "You never gave up… even when everyone made fun of you because of it… you just wouldn't give up… If we only believed you sooner…" a tear fell down on her cheek, Suzie slowly wiped her eyes.

"Even if you would believe me… I believed it all along, but never did something…" Ned said, the nightmare still fresh in his mind.

Suzie's cell phone rang, she answered it with a soft sobbing 'hello?'

Ned turned to Cookie. "She would be alright, right?"

Cookie padded Ned reassuring on the back. "Moze is tough… Nothing will ever break her… and she's a fighter Ned,"

Ned smiled softly. "Yeah she is quite a fighter… remember when she had that fight with Missy in our freshman year?"

Cookie laughed. "Yes, that was good… pity she got suspended though…"

"Yeah, most boring week ever!" Ned said with a huge grin. "But Missy finally left me alone."

"Remember when she got drunk?" Cookie grinned broadly. "Now that was entertaining."

"Yeah," Ned admitted with a grin.

- Flashback –

Ned stalked towards Jennifer and Trevor, who was still trying to kiss her. Just when he reached the pair he heard Jennifer shout "I said no you insufferable bastard," before she hit him full in the face with her fist. Trevor's hand yanked to the other direction by the force of the impact and he stared at Jennifer with amazement and anger.

Ned stared at her, baffled. Then he stepped forwards and took her by the arm. "Come on Moze, enough excitement for you today," he led her off the dance floor to a astonished Cookie.

Ned barely reached Cookie when a angered teacher walked towards them. "Fighting on the dance floor, I expected better behavior, especially from you miss Mosley,"

Jennifer opened her mouth to retort when Ned said hastily. "I saw it happen sir, Trevor tried to kiss her, and the punch was spiked, so I think he was pretty wasted and I just wanted to save her when she punched him, it was all an accident really," talking at a rate that would make a Querly proud Ned tried to explain the angry English teacher what happened.

"One more accident Bigby, and you and your friends can leave the dance, I do not tolerate violence," with that, Mr Price strode of towards the table where all the teachers and chaperones sat.

"It wasn't even her fault!" Ned shouted behind him.

"That's it… out! All three of you!," the teacher started to usher them all towards the exit of the gym.

"Fine," Ned scowled and took Jennifer's hand to lead the intoxicated girl towards the exit.

"Now what?" Cookie asked when they stood in the deserted corridor.

"That bastard threw me out!" Jennifer said furiously. "How dare he?!" she turned around and walked determinedly back into the gym.

Ned and Cookie exchanged bemused looks before they went after her.

"One moment Bigby!" the last thing Ned needed on that moment stood in front of him, he looked at an outraged Suzie.

"Hi sweetie pie," Ned said with a fake smile.

"Don't you 'sweetie pie' me Bigby," Suzie bellowed.

A few students looked bewildered and amused at the fighting couple.

"What were you doing with Jennifer?" Suzie demanded.

"Nothing," Ned said a little to quickly.

Suzie's eyes went wide.

"Look, I don't have time to explain it right now… Mose is of doing God knows what…" Ned said pleadingly looking past her for Jennifer.

"Ned, I really think that Pice.. Prince… Pi… whatever is really mad now…" Jennifer said, tapping Ned on the shoulder.

"Ow, hi Suzie," she added to Suzie with a smile.

"Don't you hi Suzie me you tramp!" Suzie yelled.

"What's her problem?" Jennifer asked bluntly at Ned.

"Let me tell you what the problem is, first of all, Ned thinks clearly of you when he kisses me," Suzie said while Ned was saying things like "ppsshh" and "nah".

Jennifer looked dazzled at Ned. "Really? That's so sweet!" after a moment or to she frowned. "Actually its rather weird… and scary…"

"And now, he leaves me here while he's of with you, doing God knows what!" Suzie went on.

Jennifer frowned. "Cookie was with us…" she said although she just remembered it.

Suzie made a face as if she wanted to be sick.

"NO!" Ned shouted. "Not in that way…" Some listeners started to laugh.

Ned's eye fell upon the cup of punch in Jennifer's hand. "Can I have a look at that?" he asked in a innocent voice.

"Sure," Jennifer answered and gave him the cup of spiked liquid.

"Thanks," Ned smiled before he threw the full cup away over his shoulder.

"Hey!" Jennifer shouted annoyed. "I was going to finish that!"

"No,!" Ned said fiercely. "No more punch for Moze!" he said sternly.

Jennifer looked at Ned as though she would love to strangle him.

Suzie looked from Ned to Jennifer. "Back to me please! I still would like to know what's going on here!"

Ned sighed. "The punch is spiked…"

Which permits you to hold hands with her?" Suzie interfered.

"I haven't hold hands with her or anyone!" Ned shouted getting angry also. "Moze is completely wasted and I merely guided her," he continued in a calmer tone.

"By hand!" Suzie yelled out.

"She's my best friend!" Ned shouted back.

"A best friend you're in love with!" Suzie retorted.

Ned fell silent, not knowing what to say next.

"She's my friend Suzie, of course I love her," Ned said softly.

Cookie smacked himself on his forehead muttering "Idiot"

Ned looked beside him for backup but found Jennifer missing.

"Your girlfriend is at the punch bowl," Suzie spat.

Ned looked at the punch table and saw indeed that Jennifer was scooping up yet another cup of punch.

Shaking his head, he started to walk towards her but Suzie grabbed his arm and hissed: "If you go towards her Bigby, we're through…"

Ned hesitated for a moment, then shook his arm out of her grip and walked to Jennifer without looking back.

By now, the whole gym, including the teachers where watching the fight between Ned and Suzie, the school most known couple, some baffled others smiling knowingly at the outcome of it.

- End Flashback –

"Suzie really thought that you would pick her instead of Moze didn't she?" Cookie laughed, looking at Suzie's back who was still talking on the phone.

"I'm glad they worked it out though…" Ned frowned.

"They nearly fought though, if it wasn't for Moze…" Cookie grinned.

Ned smiled. "That's her… she would never fight a friend. Remember when she found out she was sort of a bully?"

"Yes but she was the first girl on the wrestling team… and is the best dodge ball player…"

"She is tough… but never tries to hurt someone… remember when she thought that she hit Coconuthead on the face… when she thought she injured him?" Ned explained.

Cookie smiled. "She's a real friend that one,"

Suzie went over to them. "My mom just called, I have to go," she hugged Ned. "She'll be alright just keep believing in her," she whispered before she took of.

Cookie placed a hand on Ned's shoulders. "Lets go inside, mayby you may see her…"

Cookie looked concerned at Ned. "Want to go inside? he asked carefully.

Ned sighed for a moment and nodded. He knew that he would be confronting his girlfriend injuries. It even broke him when he saw her cry after a fight with Suzie, he never wanted to see her in pain again, and now he was going to walk into a room to see her fight for her life.

I hoped you all enjoyed the long awaited chapter :p

leave a review if you want xxx


	11. Annoyance And Friends

First of all, I want to apologize for the long waiting. Its just that the source and the inspiration that drove me was gone… it was during the time that my mom had her heart surgery and that she lay on intensive care for weeks.

My mom and I aren't quite close, she isn't exactly the motherly type… in fact, she's what drives me to write. All the frustration, anger, hurt and… things to deep to describe… I always worked it out in my stories, almost all of them have a reasonable amount of drama, it emphasis the importance of good friends that truly understand you, or really try to… anyway, my mum's better, (so is my feeling) which isn't good for the people who likes this story.

Normally, the story counted for 15 chapters, and I have them all planned out, but just couldn't place the right "feeling" in it… so this is next to last chapter, though the next one is bound to be 5000 words, and is somewhat in progress… I'm sorry for all the waiting, but I'm a writer that values the "story spirit" in short: I don't write for my fans, I write for myself, I just display it… (though you guys motivated me)

I love all the reviews, even the one or two spam's… its what's makes it all worth it…

I'm finishing this story… that's a promise… and with the end of this story, a new one is being made. (good news for the Danny Phantom fans, more info in my profile)

(Btw: there is a slight change in my profile, more based on the stories.)

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_**Chapter 11 : Annoyance And Friends **_

Ned felt his heart drop at the same moment he opened the door, he was about to confront his injured girlfriend, a girl all people but him assumed dead, the very girl who had been on the news non-stop since she's been found. Ned braced himself for the shock that awaited him; he took a deep breath and walked into the room. Someone had closed the curtains, making the room dim and quite depressing. A wave of annoyance went through him; it was like, again, everyone assumed her dead... or dying.

Ned looked at the girl he loved so much and felt his heart break; several wires went in and out of her motionless body, a heart monitor bleeped, her left hand was bandaged, and her face was pale but looked so peaceful at the same time: like she could've been sleeping.

Ned sat down on the chair next to her bed and took her bandaged hand in his; enclosing it tenderly with his both hands.

He simply sat there, looking at her while fear and worry went through him like several hurricanes. A soft sob escaped him and he laid his forehead on the back of her hand. "Please be alright," Ever so softly, he kissed her hand. "I'm sorry that I didn't found you sooner, and I'm sorry for... everything... you're the best thing that ever happened to me... I wouldn't know what to do if..." Ned's lips quivered. "No, You're strong, I know you are... you survived the train accident, and you will survive this!" He gently stroke her hair.

"I promise this now, and always... No matter what happens, you're the only one that will ever make my heart do flip-flops... the only one who will ever know that I'm secretly afraid in the dark... well, was... You're my light... Whenever I'm in the dark, all I have to do is think of you, and all my fears are gone. You're the one that can make me smile when my world is a grimm place... and I need you to do that again, I need you to take away my fears and worry's of losing you... I need you to look at me and tell me that you'll be alright... And I need you most of all to wake up. I never loved anyone as much as I love you, and since that accident... I'm scared... scared of how I feel, I know that, when you ... when you... die... a huge part of my will die with you, I know that I'll never feel all this for another girl. True I was in love with Susie... but IN love, not actual love... you...," Ned sighed dreamingly. "When you smile, my heart swells up and smiles with you, when you're hurt, I can feel your pain inside of me. When your aunt died, I cried with you... I know when you're upset, even when you say so much as 'hi' I know if there's something wrong... When I think of you, I feel all warm and comfy inside, and when I see you, I can't help but sigh happily. I love every part of you, I even find your very, very aggressive side cute... sort of... in a scared way... and if you die, I'll die with you, 'cause I know that I wouldn't make it without you, I never felt this about Susie, never will... you're the one that keeps me going... Please wake up..." tears welled up in Ned's eyes, but he let them fall, holding her hand against his cheek, desperate for her touch.

Ned felt a warm, comforting hand on his shoulder. He looked up and saw Cookie and Susie standing on either side of him. "How long have you guys been standing there?" he asked, wiping his tears away.

"She's so lucky to have you," Susie said softly, wiping her tears away as well.

Ned smiled and repeated the words he said to his cousin earlyer, "No, I'm lucky to have her, I never had and never will feel the way she makes me feel, she's the only one that knows so much about me and doesn't run for it, I'm lucky that I can call her my girlfriend, and I'm lucky that a girl like her loves me the way she does..." Ned sighed. "Cheesy... I know,"

"Maybe... but still touchy, c'mon, you need a drink," Cookie said, putting a comforting arm around Neds shoulders.

"I can't leave her Cookie... not again..." Ned said determinedly.

"Susie made the doctor swear to call you when anything changed... bit scary actually..." Cookie said with a frown.

"I gave him your number..." Susie said with a faint smile.

"But..." Ned looked confusedly at Susie.

"I know how much you love her Ned, if I didn't knew before, I know now, especially after your speech..." Susie interrupted.

Ned adverted his eyes. "You heard that huh?"

Susie nodded. "What you two feel for each other... I just pity the one who ever tries to interfere that... I know perfectly well how a fight with Jennifer feels like... you don't want to be on her bad side..."

flashback

"I thought you where my friend Jennifer Mosely..." Susie yelled through the decorated gym.

Jennifer turned and looked at Susie, eyebrows frowned, eyes dark. "You mean I'm not?"

"Which friend steals boyfriends? You're a boyfriend stealing backstabber!" Susie shouted beside herself of rage.

"I'm a what now?" Jennifer said, with highly lifted eyebrows.

"You heard me, you wench..." Susie said with murderous eyes.

Jennifer walked towards Susie 'till she stood inches away from her, looking her square in the eye. "Do you really, really believe that I'm after Ned?"

Susie took a step backwards, intimidated by the fierce look in Jennifer's eyes in which she kept looking nonetheless. "I know that he's after you..." it was a statement, with the same tone as she would've used if it was about the weather.

"Why... does everyone... keep saying that?!" Jennifer exclaimed, rubbing her temples. "I'm getting sick of it... really..."

"You just never see what's right in front of your nose, do you Jennifer?" Susie spat.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Jennifer asked, confused.

"You never notice how guys are all over you... or when one looks at you on a very special way..." Susie said, more calmly.

Jennifer just gawped at her.

"Loomer for example... he never looks at me the way he looks at you, and same goes for Ned..." Susie didn't shouted or yelled anymore, she just sounded sad.

Jennifer opened and closed her mouth several times, but her voice bailed on her.

"And you two can say that you're just friends as much as you two want... you and I both know that that's not true... there's something between you two that no one can explain or even understand... Ned's been looking at you for the whole evening... he wasn't even jealous when Triston asked me to dance with him! Now tell me Jennifer... in all honesty, that you don't feel anything when he touches you, or during one of your triple shared kisses... if you can tell me that, I'll take it all back," Susie looked piercingly at her best friend, waiting, hoping for a sign of denial.

Jennifer just dumbfounded looked at Susie, unsure what to say. "We're just friends," came the weak retort. "And I doubt that there will ever be more than friendship between Ned and me..."

"You know that's a lie..." said the voice of Missy Meany.

Susie looked at the crowd on her left and saw Missy standing there, wearing an elegantly green dress.

"Stay out of it Missy..." Jennifer said warningly, shooting a glare in her direction, and receiving one just as fierce.

"She might be on to something, you know..." Susie said frowning.

Jennifer rubbed her temples. "I'm to drunk to handle this right now..."

"You kissed him three times, how can you kiss someone without feelings?" Susie asked placing her hands on her hips in a stubborn manner.

"I could ask you the same question..." Jennifer said with one raised eyebrow.

Susie looked downright insulted by this. "How dare you?!"

"Just admit it Suus... you never really liked any guy you dated, did you?" Jennifer went on, ignoring Susie's outburst.

"Yes I did!" It came out in a very defensive way, but it seemed like Susie wasn't sure of this.

"No you didn't..." Jennifer insisted. "When you dated Loomer... you never really cared for him... he was just a way to feel less lonely, so you could have someone who could care for you,"

"You don't know anything about me!" Susie yelled, her face red of anger.

"I know more about you then you think..." Jennifer said softly.

"No you don't... no one does..." Susie said firmly, crossing her arms in front of her chest.

"Not even your parents... who never seems to have time to talk with their daughter... they're never there when you come home from school, and even if they are, they never have time to listen to you..." Jennifer said this with a strange glint in her eyes.

"I don't need your pity Mosely!" Susie screamed, tears welling up in her eyes.

"I don't pity you Susie... I admire your strength... but dating guys for the sake of having the feeling of being loved isn't right..." Jennifer said gently.

With a scream of agony Susie collapsed on her knees and her whole body shook of the furious sobs that escaped her lumped throat.

"I'm not strong... I wasn't... until..," Susie sobbed harder.

"Until you dated Ned..." Jennifer finished the sentence. "He... he just brings the best out of people, gives them the strength to deal with whatever is bothering them... he gave you the strength to deal with the absence of attention from your parents... just like he gives me the strength to deal with my problems... he's a very loyal friend, one you can always count on... he would never hurt anyone intentionally, and always tries to do good for everyone..."

"And you took him from me!" Susie's outburst surprised Jennifer, just like the fierce push Susie gave her.

"I didn't!" Jennifer exclaimed. "You're just so self consumed that you take everything as a personal assault and never gives people to explain themselves... and when they can explain, you'd never listen... you're so protective of your fragile heart that you lock everyone out, pushing them away..."

"Ow c'mon Jennifer... you always comes first... and when he's with me, all he does is talking about you..." Susie wiped her eyes and looked at Jennifer with hatred.

"Ned and I go way back... I know him as long as I can remember...we'd never been separated more then two days in a row... and we're neighbors... you knew how close Ned and I are when you started dating him... and you perfectly knew that no one would ever come between our friendship..." Jennifer said, getting tired of keeping explaining that she and Ned are just friends.

"Friendship," Susie barked the word. "He has a lot more on his mind then friendship..."

Jennifer let out a growl of frustration.

"I'm going to say it for the last time... Ned and I are just friends... nothing more... not ever!" If Jennifer had looked to her right, she would've seen the hurt expression on Ned's face when she said this, slowly, without anyone noticing he walked out of the gym.

"Why won't you just admit it already?!" both Susie and Missy yelled.

"There's nothing to admit! I don't love Ned, and I never will!" At the exact time Jennifer screamed this Ned was at the door. Tears welled up in his eyes and a sob escaped him when he pressed the doors open.

"What is it that you're afraid of?" Cookie asked with a frown.

"See! see! Even Simon thinks so!" Missy exclaimed.

"And I told you to stay out of this!" Jennifer said irritably.

Missy crossed her arms, but didn't said a word.

"You know you love him Mosely... you know you do..." Susie said insistently.

"No I don't! Why? Why would I risk our life-long friendship over something like feelings I don't even know I have?" Jennifer screeched.

"I knew it!" again, both Susie and Missy shouted out.

Jennifer closed her eyes and sighed deeply. "I can't risk all that for something that wouldn't even work out... we simply know to much of each other... It wouldn't be right..."

"So you do... love him?" Cookie asked with a sly grin.

"Yes Cookie I do..." Jennifer admitted finally, still with closed eyes. A single teardrop rolled over her cheek.

Before anyone could stop her, or even saw it happen Susie stepped forwards and slapped Jennifer square across the face. Jennifer's head yanked to the other direction of the force.

"Looks like banshee-Susie came out huh?" Jennifer spat.

"You bitch!" Susie yelled, attacking once more.

In one swift movement, Jennifer tackled her to the floor. The next moment Jennifer sat on Susie's waist, pinning her hands down above her head.

"What gives?!" Jennifer shrieked, through all the catcalls and whistles.

"I can stand losing against you in many things Jennifer... But you taking away the best thing that ever happened to me... no way!" Susie yelled, fighting pointlessly against Jennifer's grip.

"I'm not taking anything away!" Jennifer yelled back.

"So you never going to do something with your feelings?" Cookie asked, baffled.

"No, Cookie, I won't..." Jennifer said with a sigh.

"But..." Cookie said weakly.

"No buts... like I've said before... I value Ned's friendship to much to risk it all..." Jennifer said, looking fiercely at Cookie.

"Besides... I would never do that to a friend... Not even when she went all ballistic on me..." she added, looking at Susie.

Susie just looked up at her best friend, tears in her eyes. "Why?"

"Because I... I don't fully know why... part of me is scared... another part values friendship over deeper feelings for a guy," Jennifer released her grip on Susie's wrists, but didn't stood up. "Its complicated..."

"I'm sorry I slapped you," Susie said, crying again.

"Don't worry about it... I kinda understand..." Jennifer smiled weakly to her friend.

"Can you get off of me now? you're not exactly a feather..." Susie said with a smile.

"Sure," Jennifer got up and helped Susie to her feet as well.

Susie looked at Jennifer confusedly.

"Wait... that's it?" Missy said disappointedly. "No fight?"

"Missy..." Jennifer looked again fiercely at the blonde girl. "Shut it! Or you'll have a fight!"

"Speaking of fights... where's the subject of our fight? Where's Ned?" Susie asked, looking around her.

"I think I know..." Cookie said, walking towards the doors of the gym.

"Cookie?"

"Yes Mose?"

"Never, ever, a word to Ned over anything I just said..."

"Got it..."

End Flashback

When Ned, Cookie and Susie walked into the reception hall, they were suddenly crowded by camera-men and news reporters.

"Ned, can you have a word please?" A woman with short brown hair shouted, nearly pressing Ned against the wall.

"You always hold on to your story that Jennifer Mosely was still alive, and still out there... no one believed you... how did that made you feel?"

"Do you think she'll make it?"

"How did you know she was still out there?"

"What went through you when you found her?"

"IF she wakes up, what will be the first thing you'll say to her?"

"ENOUGH!" Ned bellowed so forcefully that the entire news crew actually backed off a few steps, the one more baffled then the other.

"While you all ask me this ridiculous questions a girl is fighting for her life! She may not even make it and all you care about is your stupid news! At the funeral, you all fought to make me look like a moron first! Well I was right, she was still alive! No one took me serious when I said that, but now she's found and fighting for her life with all her might you all act like a bunch of chickens fighting over corn! I never actually punched someone... but I just saw the girl I love with my entire being struggle for her life... I saw her wounds when they pulled her out underneath the train rails... I saw her lying lifeless on the bed... I saw numberless wires running in and out of her body! And me and only me saw her first... lying there underneath the train rails, in a three feet deep hole, with her blood everywhere..." Ned blinked a few tears away. "You all have no idea what all that did to me... I'm heartbroken to see the girl I love more then my live so wounded... I'm scared to lose her... I'm terrified... and all you can do is ask stupid, retarded questions! Get a life and bug yourselves about that!" Ned pushed his way through the crowd, slamming his shoulders hard into a few camera-men.

"The words of a teenage boy who dreads the fate of his beloved girlfriend, who is still in critical condition,"

Ned wanted to turn around and punch her lights out, but Cookie stopped him. "Leave them Ned... They're not worth it..."

Ned sighed and nodded. Together, the three of them walked towards the cafeteria.

For nearly two hours, Cookie and Susie tried their best to cheer Ned up, but no avail. All Ned could think of was how his girlfriend lay alone in that semi-dark room, fighting for her life. Images of her smile, her laugh, her face, swam trough his head, making him feel both in love and scared to death. He had no idea how long he'd have to miss her, or how long he would've to wait for any improvement in her condition... The only thing he could do was waiting helplessly while praying for a miracle. And Ned knew that he would need all the patience and strength he could muster.

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	12. A Devastating Disaster And Heartbeats

I'M BACK BABY! (sorry :p)

Firstly, i'm very, very sorry that it took this long to update... I had a searious case of writers block (i even threw my writing maps of eight years away!!!)

This chapter... lets just say that i'm back, and better then ever...

for the sensitive ones: make sure you have tissues, it sure made me cry (though i blame it on PMS)

have fun reading, and please leave a review xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

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_**Devastating Disaster And Heartbeats.**_

The room Jennifer was in was dimly lit, several sounds were heard, echoing through the room. The regular bleeping of the heart monitor, the sound of footsteps down the hall, some more rushed then others, softly speaking voices. The occasional phone rings, though they sounded distant.

A small motion of her fingers, could've been spastic, her eyelids trembled for a fraction of a second before they fluttered open. A soft moan of pain escaped her lips as she tried to move. Very slowly, she managed to raise her left hand high enough to see it was bandaged, and by the feeling of it, so was the back of her head, her right thigh and somewhere on her stomach, and chest though she couldn't make out exactly where.

By now, Jennifer had concluded that she was in a hospital, but didn't had a clue how she got there. Part of her brain really tried to remember, but the last thing she could recall is when she got back from a vacation, especially the part when Ned opened the door for her.

With a jolt, Jennifer turned her head to the left, but only to see the visitor's chair empty. Through the disappointment, Jennifer knew that Ned was there. She just knew that he spent countless hours at her side, probably just holding her hand and talking softly to her. And she knew that he was the one that found her.

A very vague memory unfolded in her mind's eye. Bright light, scurried voices, the feeling of being lifted up… A warm hand that seemed to be wiping something off her face, before softly stroking it, a voice, she loved so much, telling her to hold on, not to give up.

With the voice clearly in her head, Jennifer's eyes shot wide open and she almost bolted up, a movement she regretted immediately afterwards. Pain, more fierce then she'd ever felt, raged through her body. Her hand was looking for something to grasp, and soon found something. When the sharp pain finally subsided a little, Jennifer raised her hand to see what she was grasping, and found out that she was holding the pager to call a nurse. She tried to push the button, but it seemed like she just didn't had enough strength to put the right amount of pressure on it.

With tears of frustration and agony, she finally managed to push it, but then wasn't able to hold onto it anymore. The pager slid away from her fingers and fell onto the floor where it bounced twice. The noise of that wasn't much, but to Jennifer it was torture.

Now, the only thing she could do was hoping with every fiber that she indeed pressed the button, or that someone is going to check upon her, maybe even a visitor. She had to gather her complete strength to stay awake. It felt like she was waiting for minutes, but in fact, only a couple of seconds had passed since she pressed that button, IF she pressed it.

She just lay there, not able to move, unless pained worse than she ever thought possible; even breathing was a painful thing to do. Constantly the same phrase went through her head. 'let someone find me, let someone be looking for me… somehow,' She didn't knew why that particular phrase hung in her head, seeing that she was obviously found already. A memory tried to form inside of her head, but she purposely blocked it, she could dwell in memories later on. Right now, she had to be awake when someone, anyone, walked through the door.

Rushed footsteps were heard, a voice shouting something… The next moment, the door opened and no less than five medics walked into the room, well, rushed actually; one even knocked a chair over in his rush to get to her.

Then she heard the most wonderful sentence: "Call her parents, and that goofy mop-headed guy who seemed to camp here for the past four days, tell them she's awake,"

Jennifer never felt more relieved in her life. She would see her parents again, and Ned… No matter how much it'll hurt her, but she was determined that, as soon he walked into the room and was near enough, she would wrap her arms around him and will refuse to let him go for hours to come.

A very, very bright light shone in her eyes. First the left, then the right. Jennifer knew that the doctors and nurses there were merely doing the routine examinations, but right now, it bugged her.

She felt how the covers were pulled down, and how her hospital-shirt was pulled up, probably to check upon the chest wound, when a very sharp pain went through her chest, like her heart was being ripped out. She would've screamed if she could, but no sound ever made it to her lips.

Absently, she saw the door open again and a woman's voice saying that the parents are on their way and that the 'goofy kid' was in the cafeteria, so he should be there in matters of seconds.

Jennifer should've been relieved, she should've been filled with excitement and anticipation, but she couldn't feel anything different then the devastating pain, and a feeling of intense panic and fright. Then she knew; something was wrong. Jennifer turned her head to the left, where a black nurse with a friendly face looked downright worried.

She tried to find out what was going on, what was happening to her. The many voices in the room made it difficult for her to understand what they were saying, but the heart monitor was bleeping like crazy.

Jennifer realized that something was very, very wrong. Each draw of breath took her an incredible amount of strength. Soundless tears were running down her cheek when it hit her; she wouldn't make it.

Part of her wanted to sleep, to make the pain go away permanently. But the other part kept telling her to hold on, to fight it. With gasping breaths, Jennifer turned her head to the friendly looking black nurse once more. There was one more thing she needed to do before she was ready to give herself over to the demanding arms of Death. With unbearable difficulty, she managed to rest her hand upon the shoulder of the nurse, who looked at her with compassion and worry.

"Tell…" Jennifer coughed weakly, and forced herself to say it. "Tell… Tell them… I love…"

Ned sat in the cafeteria, Cookie had just left, and it was nearly time for him to leave also. With a sigh, he downed the last bit of his drink and stood up when the doors of the cafeteria opened and a nurse came rushing in. Paying little attention to her, he wanted to put his coat on. When the waitress pointed at him, Ned felt a small shot of hope, but figured that, with his luck, it would be one of the people behind him they needed. He was surprised however when the nurse walked up to him. He feared the worst…

The nurse came to him with a smile, and what nurse would go to people with a smile and say: 'guess what, she didn't make it!' so he assumed that it was good news. Though it took him several moments for his mind to make the right click. Then he just grinned madly. "She woke up, didn't she?" he shouted it across the cafeteria, which made several people look at him in surprise. "She…" Ned stood there for a split second, grinning like he was the happiest boy in the world, before he downright stormed off.

The several shouts of disapproval echoed through the hospital corridors as Ned bolted to Jennifer's room. He couldn't believe it, she was awake! For a moment, he scolded himself for not being there when she woke up. But the strong feeling of ecstasy pushed that away quickly.

His heartbeat was getting stronger with the closing distance. The final door and hallway… but one look of the head nurse made him slow down a lot. He had come to respect that woman… she was the one that made it possible for him to visit Jennifer, which is normally only for family, he Cookie and Susie where the exceptions.

When Ned approached Jennifer's room he noticed two things: her room was crowded with medics, and the one seemed more hastily then the other. Something broke within him. He knew that something was wrong. From the point where he stood, right outside the door, he could hear the dreadful tone that didn't seemed to have an end, he knew what that continuous bleep meant.

flat beat… the thing he feared the most, the one thing that could crush him in a way beyond describing.

His knees buckled involuntarily. But the sharp pain in his knees when they made contact to the floor was nothing compared what he felt. The hall filled with his shattered sobs and his heartbreaking wails. It couldn't be happening, she was awake! They had come to fetch him because of that! She can't be gone! She just can't!

Ned scrambled back on his feet and watched through the tiny window in the door to see the doctors trying very hard to reanimate her.

He laid his hand on the glass, tears streaming down his face. "You can't give up now…" it was merely a whisper. "You're strong Jennifer, fight it… fight it damn it!" the last was emphasized with a loud bang of his fist on the window. "You have to fight it, you can't leave me… not like this… you can do it, I know you can…" a loud sob escaped him as he hit the window again. "No! It's not right, and it's not fair!" With that, he really broke down. He was sobbing wildly and wailing uncontrollably.

The Head Nurse came rushing and was just in time to catch Ned as his legs gave away completely. No matter how much he sobbed or wailed, the pain wouldn't go away. It felt like not only his heart, but his entire being was ripped out, right on the moment that he thought that things would be alright, that she was awake and soon in his arms again. That even made him wail harder, the agony took complete control of him. He started to pull his hair and would just claw everything he could.

The Head Nurse just hold him and swayed him like he was a baby. She didn't care how he clawed her arms open, or that she was near deaf from his wails. She even shoed the security away.

With a shuddering breath, Ned caught hold of himself again, though only a little. He stood up again and looked through the window again. Just this time, he felt like a shell, a shadow of who he used to be.

"You can't be gone, it just can't… I don't know what to do without you… Please… come back to me… please just…" another sob escaped him again. "Please…" he hit the window again and sobbed more, with his forehead rested against the window, his eyes closed. Countless memories invaded his brain, every look, every touch, every kiss… it all came to his mind's eye. The last sobs subsided as his breathing calmed down. With a shivering breath he looked up into the room. The doctors where clearing up the reanimation equipment. Ned's eyes filled with tears again. The doctors had given up… outraged, he hit the glass again, which burst, leaving a gash in Ned's right hand palm. He laid his head against the door again, in a foolish attempt to calm down. And then, he heard the utmost wonderful sound of the regularly bleeping of the heart monitor.

Ned whipped his head around to the Head Nurse, who heard it too and smiled. In a impulse, he hugged her, tightly. "Can I…" Ned asked uncertain, looking at the door with the utmost longing in his eyes.

The Head Nurse nodded. "But first, you'll have that hand checked…"

"I'm sorry for that… I'll pay for it…" Ned said nervously.

"It's alright sweety, I perfectly understand why you did it… when my husband died, I trashed the complete room…" she winked and gently took his arm. "Now let's have that wound checked, shall we,"

Ned agreed and let her drag him away from the girl he loved and nearly lost. But as soon she dismissed him, he would rush to Jennifer's side, and maybe, if he's lucky, she would await him with that tender smile of hers.

* * *

Normally, this would be the last chapter, or it would've been done with the 12th chapter... but i have 2 more, including a bonus one.... and the waiting won't be as long anymore, i promise

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Leave a review if you liked this chapter, and i want honest opinions, even if they are flames


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